My sister doesn’t look like my sister in her last few weeks

Hi. I lost my sister to cancer two weeks ago. I loved her very much, she was my best friend, my soul mate.

It’s hard to describe how I’m feeling but here goes …
I’m really struggling to accept it was my sister because in her last few weeks and when she died she looked nothing like my sister as I knew her. My mind cannot accept it’s her because of the way she looked. I don’t recognise her when I look at her and I feel upset and almost ashamed to feel like this. I just think my sister is out there somewhere still alive and I can’t find her.
Any advice much appreciated please x


Hi , I’m sorry you have lost your sister to cancer. I can’t offer any advice but I can share how I was left feeling when my husband died of cancer. Mike was a tall handsome man and cancer transformed him though I didn’t notice so much at first. I do remember how he looked in the final weeks of his life and that memory breaks my heart. I try to remember him as the adorable person he was and remind myself he is now free from that destructive disease. It takes time to get your head round this but hopefully in time you will be able to remember your sister the way she would want you to
My best wishes

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Hi I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for your kind words, that’s helpful, thank you, i will try and do that. Nic x

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I’m so sorry, I don’t know the answer really, but perhaps keep now looking at photos of your sister, and start to remember her how she was, will help you lose this sad and painful memory, and your confusion you now have, and how she would want you to remember her.
Hope this helps, take care x