My sister took her own life last week, my heart is broken. How do you ever start to understand and process something like this
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I’m so sorry. I haven’t had a similar experience, so don’t feel as though I can offer any wisdom. But I know that other people on here have. Well done for sharing. I hope that being on here helps you. It’s helped me. 
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It is unimaginable. I have no wisdom to offer. Just know that I am so very sorry for you and your sister. She must have been in unbearable mental pain. It is just heartbreaking and there is no way to wrap your head around it.
Hugs. Much love.
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Thank you for taking the time to reply
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Thank you, she was in so much mental torture for years. I just wish I could of helped her more
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I can’t begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling right now. Losing your sister in such a heartbreaking way is unimaginable, and it’s natural to feel lost in trying to understand and process it all. Grieving a loved one who took their own life brings so many complex emotions—sadness, confusion, anger, guilt—and it’s completely understandable to feel all of these and more.
Please know, though, that mental health struggles can run so deeply that sometimes, despite all the love and support in the world, someone may still feel they can’t keep going. Your love and care for her mattered immensely, and you did everything you could. Her choice was a reflection of her pain, not of anything you did or didn’t do.
There’s no “right” way to process something like this, and it’s important to take as much time as you need. Please know that you don’t have to face this alone. Talking to people you trust, a grief counselor, or a support group like this can be helpful as you navigate these intense feelings. Be gentle with yourself and know that your sister’s memory will always be with you, even as you slowly find ways to heal.
We’re all here for you, whatever you need, and whenever you want to talk. Sending you so much love and strength.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I understand your pain as I lost my brother the same way.
The most important thing for me when I lost my brother to suicide was understanding that taking their life wasn’t a choice. People often think it is a choice. It is not something they “chose” to do. Mental health issues are so complex and the education around it means most people don’t understand what it’s really like. If someone has a heart attack, no one says “they chose to have a heart attack.”
Unfortunately losing someone to suicide is a very complex grief process. When someone breaks their legs, everyone can see it, they can’t walk, and they have to accept help. When someone has mental health issues, people can’t always see it, they can still look like they’re able, and people don’t realise they need help. Most people lose the ability to communicate the illness just like someone with broken legs loses the ability to walk. Theres nothing anyone could have done to change the situation because we can’t physically see into peoples brains.
When I stopped trying to understand “why he did it” and realised that question is the same as asking “why did my grandad have a heart attack” it changed the grieving process. Of course my grandad didn’t choose to have a heart attack. It was a medical issue in the body. And just like a heart attack is something going wrong in the heart, suicide is something going wrong in the brain.
I hope my insight helps but I am sorry if not. Talking through things can help but over the next few months only do what feels right for you. Don’t do what you think you should be doing for anyone else. Take care of yourself.
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I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to you. My brother committed suicide in 1986, aged twenty-one, and it’s still something I have not come to terms with. I wish you all the very best under these extremely difficult circumstances.