I have lost many people in life im 40 years old now I lost my mother when I was 15 I lost my uncle when I was 17 he basically raised me and I lost my gran when I was eight she was the first to raise me before the rest. now at 40 my sister has died she was murdered by her husband brutally she left eight children behind i look after 4 the rest are grown. and I have anger but also have a sense of calm maybe it’s because I’m still in dream state it doesn’t feel real but then it’s becoming real I don’t know the emotions are crazy it’s like a rollercoaster but it feels like a part of me has died I’ve lost a limb I’m gonna have to learn to live without it I feel alone yet im surrounded by so many pepole.
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Hello @Bianca41,
I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. That sounds incredibly difficult and I can understand that you feel part of you has died especially after experiencing multiple losses in your family.
As well as the online community, we offer a range of online bereavement support services that might be helpful to you. You can explore these at sueryder.org/support.
You might also want to reach out SAMM - Support After Murder and Manslaughter. You can call them on 0121 472 2912 or text 07342 888570.
Please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take good care of yourself, Alex 
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Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through so much heartache in your life, and to lose your sister at the hands of someone else must be an unbearable pain, I want to offer you love and support through this horrible time in your life, please know that although each of our stories are different and the way we choose to heal may be worlds apart, we are all feeling an immense loss, I’m 35 and I lost my husband almost 1 month ago to suicide and have been left with 4 children to raise alone, I’ve felt all the emotions I think a person can go through in this last month, right now I feel angry and empty but if it wasn’t for this group in the last few weeks where I could voice what I was feeling without judgement and feel the support that so many people have shown me I don’t know what would of happened to me, please never feel alone, and always reach out
Stay strong those children need you now more than ever
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Oh my goodness, that is horrific, I’m so so sorry to hear about sister. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. You must be in total shock, I hope you, family and her children are getting plenty of support.
This is a tragedy, my heart goes out you it so does. You must be in bits.
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Dear Bianca, I am sorry to hear your pain. It must be terribly difficult to come to terms with the murder of your sister while trying to protect her children who are obviously traumatized. I hope you have support from those around you. I hope you are going to get some counselling. There are group counseling for children which would benefit you all especially as each person manifests their grief in different ways which can often conflict with eachother. I hope you find some solace on this site where everyone understands the pain of bereavement.
Wishing you all the strength you will need
Tom
Hi Bianca, sending all my love and support. I lost my sister almost a year ago by her ex husband. I know how you feel when you still feel isolated and alone even though you are surrounded by people. For me personally it feels like a fever dream and I can’t wake up, my world stopped but days still come and go. It’s hard thinking your sibling will be by your side for your whole life then suddenly they are taken from you. I feel your pain and you are not alone
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