I lost my beautiful son James 7 months ago aged 31. He died suddenly and unexpectedly from Sudep. The knock on the door changed my life forever.
Losing a child is unimaginable, it takes patience, strength and courage, everything we are stripped of.
I lost James to Sudep and feel tremendous guilt that i wasn’t able to protect him from harm.
To heal takes time and knowing that i couldn’t save him takes bravery. I couldn’t control it and i couldn’t cure it. Grief is a path with no rules, it goes against everything we perceive to be normal in the order of things.
Grief has a way of magnifying our sense of guilt, it makes us believe that we could have done something different. Please believe these things are out of our control.
At the end of their journey or beautiful warrior children did not feel resentment or blame because they were loved.
They left us but not because we failed. We cared and loved endlessly.
Grief requires gentleness and you all deserve it. xx
I’m sorry, life can be so cruel.
It is the most painful thing to lose a child and it’s not the ‘right order’ of things either, parents should go first.
Just take one day at a time, that’s all we can do.
Sorry for your loss life is very cruel and yes i agree with Fjl its not the right order of things a child shouldn’t pass before their parents.
Personally I have never regarded myself as a strong person emotionally but my past year has been herendous, the loss of my Son in December 24 aged 28 , my mother in April of the same year and then my Dad 2 weeks ago.
Trust me its so hard but keep your head down and crac keep
looking on here,
Talk to as many people as you can that helps trust me .
Reading other peoples thoughts and stories on here can give a little relief of the pain knowing that your not alone .
I lost my beautiful daughter 9 February. The grief I feel is like suffocating. I wake in the morning and think is there any point in getting up which I feel so guilty about as I have 2 sons and a husband . Life is unimaginable ahead without her . It’s early days I know but we were so close . We all have to try for our loss children as I’m sure they wouldn’t want us to give up . I have found some lovely people on this site and it’s good to talk . I am currently finding it difficult to almost do anything. I hide away from friends .
I’m a bit further on than you, I lost Ben in November, I did hide away initially from friends and some days I still don’t want to see anyone or go anywhere.
It’s weird how sometimes I can talk quite easily about Ben and other times I can’t even speak without dissolving into tears.
This week I am very mixed, we are burying his ashes on Friday, it will just be immediate family and very informal but I know it’s going to hit me all over again.
My thoughts and sympathies for you and your family.
To be honest I haven’t had any good days yet most days are the same just tears anger . I am struggling to look at photos which I feel so bad about . She was my beautiful daughter why would I be scared to look at her photos x
You shouldn’t feel bad your on a emotional roller coaster .
Looking at photos can serve as a reminder that we have lost our beautiful children which just increases the horrific pain that we are already feeling whilst others will take comfort from seeing that beautiful familiar face. The truth is there is no right or wrong way. Your response to grief is just that, its yours and its personal. Grief rules us and cannot be rushed. Your responses are completely normal, its all about self preservation to enable you to cope as you try to find your way in the world again. Xx
Yes you are so right about photos . I’m just not ready to deal with them I know that . For some people I can understand it’s a comfort though . I am trying so hard just to get through each day at the moment x
I can’t look back at photos of my lovely Son. It hurts so much. I have felt awful for not being able to look but when I’ve tried I’ve gone into a very dark place. I think it’s the ‘not staying in the minute’, can’t look back and can’t look forward.
Yes Lisa I feel like that it hurts way to much . I hope one day I will be able to . X
Hope so too
It is different for everyone. When Lauren died 15weeks ago, I set up a what’s app group for her friends to drop photos and memories into. It helped me to see her so happy and to read memories from her friends when she was so happy
That sounds like a lovely idea your very brave . One day maybe x
Hi Alan, just now there is nothing you can do and there is nothing anyone can do for you either. I too lost my son on the 21/12/2024…
.he was 20 and he wasnt fortunate enough to wake up and i still feel the pain every waking hour. Whats happened to us is the worst that could happen to anyone. Im so sorry for you and feel your pain and know its a pain like no other.