Today was the 2nd hardest day my 19 year old sons funeral. 17.07.2024 the first hardest was finding out my son took his own life 25.06.2024
The pain, the loss and not understanding no note nithing was left.
My son left me. I need to move on. Cant, dont want too. I need the pain to remind me to communicate with other son. My son has left me. Im hurting I miss him so much I cry for him I reach for him. He must have been so alone, so scared. Im now alone my son is gone. I dont know what to do. The funeral was lovely, everything came together in a very short space of time. Over a 100 people came we were amazed. He touched alot of hearts. But my son has gone he left me. How do l move on. My heart is broken the pain comes in waves. I hope and pray that whatever went on with my son he is in a better place. No pain. No stress no depression. Hes at peace but how do l move on. He needs to walk through the door and say hi.
I thought he was in his bedroom just now his computer was on i opened the door ready to tell him it had gone 1am. But no my son is gone. How do i move on??
I am so sorry to read this, life is sometimes unfair and all I can say is don’t be hard on yourself, allow yourself to express your emotions. Please join a support group of parents who have experienced the same thing. And I request you to not stay in the house for long, make a routine, go for a walk. It is very painful what you are going through.
My only advice is to get yourself a goal for each day , on bad days mine are just to have a shower, other days I might do a bit of gardening, I get very anxious about people wanting to ask about my daughter ( they mean well I know) . As a consequence I keep in touch via text or whatever and one day I’ll be ready to see people, there is no set answer to move on but a small achievable goal each day is a start , much love
It more moving with and living with the pain of such a loss you are such early days yet, i accepted early on that this would not be like any other loss and will always be with me. I have started EDMR therapy - 12 months on to help with some of the images that flash through my mind, and she’s very honest this is something that will never go away , there will be better days and how he died and the what ifs, why’s will occupy my mind for quite a few2 years until the brain just decides they are unanswerable. Take your time one day at a time or an hour at a time .
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I feel similar. Expect my daughter to be in her room every time I open her door, just like if I could go back in time, she took her own life in June this year. My only comfort is that I hope she is at peace now and safe. And one day I will see her again. Take one day at a time.