It’s 41 weeks since we lost Steve. It’s been the hardest 9 months I’ve ever had to endure. My heart feels totally broken, I feel devastated and it doesn’t get easier if anything it gets harder every day 
Thoughts ro all you other ladies going through this terrible journey xx
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Niamh died suddenly 35 weeks ago.
We decided to be as ‘normal’ as we can be over Christmas (though of course it won’t be) - I think if we avoid things this year we’ll never be able to restart. So I wrote a “round robin” as usual , to email to family and friends who are scattered far and wide. It was so , so hard to do - I spent the evening in tears - but it is the last one I’ll do that I will talk about her - and she deserves that. Today it will be sent out.
Crying again…
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When my son was very small,his rabbit died, my husband and I buried in the garden in the late evening when he had gone to bed. l said to him that god wanted Bunny,he said tell god I want him back. If only we could get our children back. Love to everyone this time of year.
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I am so sorry to hear about your lovely daughter. It is just over a year for us - my son died in November 2024. You are very brave to write a Christmas email and I can imagine how difficult it must have been. But please don’t ever stop talking your daughter, whether in future round robins, emails or conversations. I mention my son’s name all the time and will continue to do so for as long as I am around. He lived and he was loved, and I want people to remember him. Keep talking about your daughter, keep her memory alive. Sending hugs to you. X
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Thank you @whydidhedie - I do and will do - she will always be part of our family. Niamh was very close to her 17 year old cousin, who is very like her - “sassy”. She now seems to be twice as cheeky - it’s as if Niamh’s share has been passed along!!
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Just beautiful Holly , thank you x
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Hollie!
Totally agree with this.
Much as its the wrong way round, I am the one who is still alive and feel I owe it to Niamh to live my best life.
Hugs to all the sad parents.x
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Beautiful poetry
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Hello, I’m new to the community and I’m struggling without my wonderful son Marvin. Marvin was 26, full of life, healthy and in just two weeks my whole world fell apart when he was diagnosed with cancer and passed away in October. It is so sad to be a part of this community that no parent wants to be in and all we want is our children back.
I am going through a divorce and this will be my first Christmas without Marvin. I don’t know where I would be without my wonderful daughter who has taken every painful step with me. I know our loved ones never leave us and I came across this poem which helped me:
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
-Mary Frye
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Hi lucinda1
Im so sorry for your loss of your Son .
Im now on wk 34 since I lost my beautiful daughter Elizabeth aged 31yrs.
You need to continue to release your emotions as keeping it in will not be good for you. Im glad that you have your daughter to help you and support you.
Ive just got back from decorating Elizabeth’s resting place with Christmas decorations. I don’t want to do all the usual things at this time of year but I know Elizabeth would want me to for my 2yr old grandson her nephew.
This is a club no mother wants to be part of but we are now Angel mums 
.
Im here if you ever need someone to talk to and everyone on here will support you.
Please take care. X
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Thank you for your kind words Sharon. I’m sure Elizabeth can see your beautiful decorations and will be with you at Christmas. We all have to find a way to cope and it is good to know we are not alone in our pain but sad to know there are so many of us x
Hi lucinda1
Yes my Elizabeth will be pleased with what I have done today. Its my way of coping I can spend hours sat talking away at her resting place.
Ive read that peom previously and its certainly true.
Take care
Sharon x
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Wow that’s beautiful Sharon x
Thankyou so much. Just waiting for her headstone now.
Im always here if you need to talk. Ys Angel mums stick together
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Hi Lucinda
I am at week 38 after losing my amazing 24 year old son to sudden cardiac death. I have found this online group to be the best support in my grieving process. Everyone on here knows exactly what we are going through and how broken we feel. No one judges what you say or what you do, they just support you and offer advice and tips on how to get through each day without looking too far into the future. Wonderful people. I hope you find this group as helpful as I do.
Xxx
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Lucinda1 and Sharon1992. I am 55 weeks and 4 days on this awful grief journey. I send you love and hugs and understanding. My best friend and 41 year old daughter Lauren died suddenly and unexpectedly on 26/11/24, I found her 7 hours after I was chatting on the phone to her and approximately 6 hours after she died. Our last words to each other were ‘love you speak to you later’. This journey doesn’t get easier but it does change. I have just returned from 3 weeks holiday in Australia. We visited sarah who has been Lauren’s best friend for the past 30 years and my friend who was pregnant with her twin girls when I was pregnant with Lauren. Both events very emotional and bitter sweet. The worse is the guilt I feel that I’m living some sort of a life at 65 and my first born, only daughter is not.
This site has been a god send to me as i know the thoughts and feelings I have are the new ‘normal’.
Hugs and kisses
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Sorry Sharon1993 not 1992
Hello BAM
Its ok 1993 was the year my beautiful daughter Elizabeth was born. I miss her so much it hurts so much 
Today im really struggling cant stop crying. I really don’t know what to do.
I sat at her resting place yesterday for 3hrs I was like a lump of ice when I got home but I feel closer to Elizabeth when I’m sat with her.
Help.xx
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