My son died 6 weeks ago. He wasn’t ill,there was no warning nothing. I spoke to him on a video call a few hours before passing and he was fine. A few hours later he just died. There was no cause of death found and I’m struggling to grasp and overcome the feeling of him just leaving. I lost my mum and dad 6 months apart 2 years ago and now this. It’s like all I know and li
ve for is grief. He was only 25, a healthy 25 year olds light just switched off and I’m completely lost. Life is just not fair
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Hello @JoJocandy81,
I can see that you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support to you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your son, that brings you here. What an incredibly difficult few years you have had with so much loss to manage.
You say you are feeling completely lost and that is so understandable. I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.
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Child Bereavement UK support families with the loss of a child. They also support bereaved children. You can call their helpline on 0800 02 888 40.
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The Compassionate Friends support families who have lost a child of any age. They have a grief companion scheme where you can get 1-1 support from another bereaved parent. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.
Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
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My 23 year old daughter passed away just over two weeks ago after a very sudden and unexpected illness. She’d also been fit and healthy and had never had anything more than a cold or two whilst growing up.
I can’t offer any words of wisdom because I too am feeling so lost and confused and have no idea how to live a life without her in it xx There are many on here who are much further down this path who may be of more help but please know you’re not alone and can reach out to us at any time xx
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Thank you for your reply and sharing your story,
When you’re knee deep in it you kind of forget that there are other people who are going through the same thing as you. I wish you peace and that you find a way to deal with your loss too. It’s so hard dealing with sudden death. It feels like he was snatched,at times I feel like he will just walk through the door and say hi what’s up with you why are you so miserable 
. All the best to you and thank you x
I feel that grieving as a parent who has lost a child is a very lonely and isolating place, even when those around us are grieving, it can still feel lonely somehow.
Being taken away so suddenly does make it feel like they’ve literally been snatched and so very hard to get your head round. I haven’t been able to go back home since it happened because everywhere in the house reminds me of her and I’ll be expecting to see her head pop round the door or hear her pottering around. The emptiness I feel already is overwhelming let alone when I’m back at our home,
I wish I could offer some words of hope but at the moment, it feels hopeless. I do hope you have good support round you as you navigate this awful path xxxx
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I am 40 weeks down the road today.
My eldest son died, he was 40. Totally unexpected.
It’s the shock and disbelief at first.
Now I’m not in shock but still have moments of disbelief.
What also shocked / surprised me was how many young apparently healthy adults just seem to die.
Of course I had no idea as it’s never something you would ever think would happen.
In the early weeks I wrote down my thoughts and feelings as I couldn’t voice them without breaking down.
I still cry and have ok days and bad days. I don’t think that will ever change.
Next week is my son’s birthday - that is definitely making me more wobbly this past week.
Speaking for me I had to do what I wanted for Ben, I had to feel in control of his service, his ashes, his possessions, perhaps because I’d lost control of what had happened. I don’t know.
It’s a long lonely road, I have 3 other grown sons’s, a husband ( Ben’s stepdad ) and some close supportive friends, yet I think no one except another mum can completely understand or feel what we are going through.
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Jojocandy81, there are so many of us on here with incredibly similar circumstances to yours and your son.
My beautiful healthy 24 year old son passed away in his sleep 19 weeks ago. He was perfectly fine the day before when he was talking to me. He died the next morning. His death has been recorded as unascertained. They think he had an arrhythmia in his heart which led to a cardiac arrest and death. He wouldn’t even have known that it had happened. He wouldn’t have felt anything. That is the only bit of comfort I can take from this horrendous tragedy. Each day without him is a nightmare as it is for yourself and all the other grieving mums and dads on here. Sending you love and strength
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I’m so sorry for your loss @JoJocandy81
My fit and healthy husband was 52 and died in his sleep in March. The sudden loss is devastating, no time to say all the things that needed to be said.
With my husband’s postmortem they also could find no clear cause so I asked for a second opinion and my husband was referred to Professor Mary Sheppard at St George’s hospital in London. She ruled that cause of death was Sudden Adult Death Syndrome (SADS).
This doesn’t change the pain but at least I can get our teenage son tested to prevent another tragedy.
I feel for, it is so devastating to lose your parents and then your brother at such a young age. Time won’t lessen the grief but your suffering will hopefully lessen.
Warmest of virtual hugs to you x
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