My son found dead.

It will be helpful to listen to others in similar situations.

Hi Beth
I’m not sure if your circumstances I hope you will find support in this site , I’ve lost 2 of my children I am so very sad, bitter and angry ( so probably not the best support!)
But sure there are many people on this site that can help you take care , keep using the site I’ve not found much else to help in these times And it’s good to communicate with others xxxxxxx

Hello thank you so much for replying. I’m so sorry you lost 2 children. I feel I cannot breath after losing my son. Beth.

Hi Beth, I totally understand & am so sorry you’ve had to join this site too. I lost my 22 year old son to SADS sudden arrhythmia death syndrome in June & it feels like that for me too, the pain is totally unbearable. I lost my mum when I was age 5 to suicide & my granny when I was 6. I’m 52 & have grieved almost my whole life, now I will grieve for the rest of my life on another level. I miss my precious boy more than words can say :broken_heart:
The people who are sadly on this site have been wonderful & it’s such a help knowing people understand :heart:
Sending love and strength xx

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Thank you so much. I’m sorry for your loss… I don’t know what to say really…
Take care.xx beth.

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Dear Beth2

I’m so sorry for your loss and the terrible path you are treading. Know you’re not alone, all of us grieving parents understand and walk with you.

I lost my younger son last October- 15 days after his 30th birthday. Just like a bomb had gone off…all our lives were changed forever.

I’ve learnt some coping strategies- meditating using the Headspace app - thinking Henry is safe from harm and is in spirit with his Dad. Being grateful for ever having had him. Knowing we will be reunited one day. The agony of losing my boy, well you know the pain yourself is there but not always at the front of my mind anymore.

Henry’s birthday is coming up…ax is the anniversary of his passing. Two things to cope but then I have to cope every day as does everyone.

I hope you have other people to love and to live for…our time on this earth is so brief that we need to find a way to accommodate our loss whilst appreciating the life we still have. How hard it is though…

I’m thinking of you and sending love and hope.
Purple x

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Thank you so much for your lovely words… I appreciate your care.
I just keep thinking, wish I said this or that, I’m missing him so much. As you are too with your son.
Bless you…

Hi Beth I have lost to children one at 9 a car knocked her down and 8 weeks ago my so to suicide I am in hell I feel for you so so much the shock it’s a nightmare I don’t know how your son died but my heart goes out to you xxx

Thank you Gail, I’m so sorry for your losses it’s so dreadful.
My son was 44 he was in a mental health hospital for five years, then they discharged him, within a year he had lost two stones in weight, couldn’t cope on his own, and neglected by the NHS. he was found dead in his bed in February this year. I can’t think of anything else…
Yours Beth. Xx

Dear gail1
I am so very sorry for your losses, I am in tears reading your dreadfully sad situation. How long ago did you sadly lose your daughter? How old was your son? Life is so very cruel…it just doesn’t make any sense. When I was 5 my mum took her own life after a few years of poor mental health, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia & sectioned. As soon as she could she left this world of pain, my sister & I weren’t even enough to keep her aged 5 & 7. Four months later her mum, my granny took her own life, she couldn’t bear life without her child. I have spent most of my life grieving & will for the rest of my life. I lost precious son in June aged 22 to sudden arrhythmia death syndrome SADS. A trauma on another level, we were so close, I miss him beyond words & yearn for him every second of every day. I hate my life, it is full of sadness :broken_heart:
I try & I know I have to live & be strong for my other precious son who is completely lost & broken without his brother.
Nothing we can say to each other can change any of this, I guess we can just support each other through messaging & sharing our feelings. Sending love and strength to you & everyone :heart: xx

my daughter died when she was 8 it is 30 years on the 14 September my son was 45 the way he did it was horrific that was 8 weeks ago I have my daughter and son iv had so many deaths in. My life the pain I’m in you will know I keep on if only I knew he was going to do it I asked him you would never try kill your self he said mum all the deaths you’ve had never the night befor he did it I told him to go at 3 in the morning I rung him next day I text him told him come home I blame my self if only I am going to hell and back don’t know how I can keep going on I am 66 feel has if it’s nearly over for me I try out a brave face o n for my daughter she is 39 and can’t deal with it thanks for reading my story Gail xx

Oh gosh gail1 how terribly sad for you. There are no words to help you or console you, I know that. Please try not to blame yourself, I know you might think that’s easier said than done, but I believe if someone is going to take their own life they are going to do it regardless of what anyone says or does as it is so overwhelming & their feelings of hopelessness are too encompassing to think rationally. The pain & suffering we feel is a reflection of the love we feel. It’s all so so sad, I’m so sorry for all of us :broken_heart:
Sending love and strength to you & everyone reading xx

Dear Gail…
You are not responsible for your son’s death. Please don’t torture yourself.
When my son Henry died my whole family was devastated- it was, and still is an agony for us all. Inexplicably, 10 weeks and 6 days later, my nephew Oli stepped in front of a train. He was 32 married with two young daughters whom he adored. We we’re all blaming ourselves for missing whatever signs there were… but no one could have foreseen his actions.
Have you contacted SOBS - Survivors of Bereaved by Suicide? You will find them supportive and understanding. I blamed myself for Henry’s death but being on this site I realise that grieving parents do that so often. I know you also lost a daughter and my heart goes out to you having lost two children. It’s so desperately wrong.
Be kind to yourself, your love for all your children shines through and it will give you strength- even though it’s hard to believe.
Hugs and love. Purple x

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