Not sure what to write in here but i lost my 21 yr old son 9 months ago after he took his own life. Instead of time making it easier its actually the opposite. I really am struggling to cope with this and dont know how to get out of the hole that i feel i am in. Feel guilty about wanting to move on but i know i have to, i just cant.
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your son. There are no words to describe the pain of losing a child. I see that you are new to the Community, I do hope you will find it of support and comfort to you.
I would like to guide you to a a few organisations that may be of help and support to you below.
The Compassionate Friends is for families who have lost a child of any age. It would be worth having a look at their website for further support.
(SOBS) Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide is for people who have experienced the loss of someone by suicide.
Both these organisations will be of help and support to you. Sue Ryder have a Grief Service which contains useful supportive information and will help you to understand and cope with your bereavement and grief.
There is also a Grief Coach text service by Sue Ryder, which sends you personalised text support via SMS.
You can also connect with members here on the forum who who have been in a similar as yourself by typing in the search bar.
Thank you for bravely reaching out, this is not always easy to do. Please continue to reach out. You are not alone, we are all here to support you.
Evening Duncs, i lost my son to suicide 6weeks ago and i feel like this that things are still so raw that i cant move forward its like it just happened its horrendous pain unbearable I’m sorry for your loss i understand completely x
Hi, I am sorry for your loss, 9 months is not a long time and it is still probably raw. Everyone has their own way of feeling and coping. Have you tried talking about how you feel.
So terribly sorry to read your post @Duncs, your emotions are entirely understandable. There won’t be a soul on here who hasn’t felt what you’re feeling now.
I lost my best friend, a sweetheart from childhood, a wife of almost fifty years and the only advice I feel able to give, is to take each day as it comes. Time may indeed prove to be the healer people promise but there’s no timetable that I’m aware of.
Guilt is a box we all tick when grieving; “We could or should have done more”, it’s natural to feel this way, you’ll move on when you’re ready to, don’t beat yourself up.
Please, be kind to yourself
I wish i could tell you gets easier. Right now i can’t though. So sorry for your loss.
Just take small steps and hour by hour. Rest as much as poss and just do whatever you want to do .There is no right or wrong way in dealing with this awful grief we are all going through. We can only pray we get through it.Thinking of you
Suicide is extremely hard to deal with. It takes a very long time to come to terms, if you ever can. Of all the ways we leave this earth, this is a tough one for everyone to cope with. Hard to know what to think, how to think and where to go with the feelings. Such sorrow.
I hope you can find comfort.
Indeed, 9 months is but a moment in terms of grief. Time will heal but slowly.
Hi, I too lost my Son just nearly 6 weeks ago, his funeral was yesterday. We have a common pain I believe, my world is shattered
My heart goes out to you. I have no words that will comfort you. I lost my mum 7 weeks ago and we have just had the funeral too. For me it is worse after the funeral when that part is over and everyone seems to start getting on with their lives when i don’t want to get on with mine.
Thinking of you and sending you so much love
Thanks Deborah Just messaging my daughter in law saying just what you just have. Life feels so empty even though we’ve still got a large family who love us xx
Everything seems just pointless to me at the mo.
I m so sorry. Losing your son like this is extremely hard.
The only way I have coped is by keeping busy, having solid routines and talking about it to people who understand. On the other hand it is important to rest, as fatigue makes things weigh too heavily on your heart.
How terrible, I am so sorry. You must be just numb.
Sending you my heart felt condolences. Worst thing ever losing a child. We just have to believe in time things will get easier.
Hi Duncs. 12 weeks ago my 33 year old daughter took her own life. Losing a child is unlike any other kind of loss. We have loved, nurtured, cared for them and they are a part of us and often our very existence for being in this world. It is very early days for you, although it can feel like a lifetime and a life without them can feel impossible. I am a therapist and yet nothing could prepare me for the devastation and unimaginable pain of missing her. I have days when I’m just a mess on the couch and only someone who has lost a child can truly understand and suicide creates so much more complex and unfinished business. If you find your stuck the right kind of therapy with the right person can help, however can I also suggest you take a look and connect on the SoBS website. It is specifically for those who have lost loved ones through suicide. There is a Children’s section. Also my experience is that only talking to those who have also lost children brings any comfort and SoBS and The Compassionate Friends website bot have help lines and I have found them brilliant. I am also so sorry for you losing your lovely boy. With care, Paul