My Son was murdered

His life was taken so unexpectedly. I struggle every day I feel I don’t want to carry on. He was my only child how can I carry on pretending to be normal when inside I’m broken devastated. It’s a physical pain that never goes away. I put on a brave face to the outside world but inside I’m broken.

Please know that everyone here will read your post and hold you in their hearts. The dreadful reality that you have lost your son in such a horrific manner will exacerbate your grief but somehow you will find the strength to get through the days…profound grief robs all of us of the ability to be “normal” but time somehow moulds us into a different version of ourselves. Please reach out and get help. Nothing anyone can say will ease your pain but others here have posted feelings and thoughts which might offer a little comfort. Thinking of you.x

I don’t usually reply to people who have lost a child because I have never lost a child of my own, only my husband however I feel for you so much. I don’t know what to say to you that might help. Your heartbreak must be so deep. We all feel for you and hope that one day you might have some peace of course your child will always be with you. Keep in touch you will find support on this forum God bless

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Hello Gary,

I’m so sorry to hear that you have lost your son in such a horrible and shocking way. I hope this online community can be a safe and supportive place for you to use as an outlet for your feelings. There are many others here who have lost a child under various circumstances and will understand at least some of what you are going through.

You may find it helpful to read through some of the other conversations in our Losing a Child section to see if there are any you can relate to: - and feel free to post replies to any of them if you would find it helpful to talk more to those people.

There is also an organisation called Support After Murder and Manslaughter (SAMM), which offers support with this particular type of bereavement. You can ring them on 0121 472 2912, or find out more at:


I am so sorry for the devastating loss of your son. My thoughts are with you xx

Hi Gary my son was murdered in 2004 aged just 22 and I feel the same anything and everything reminds me of him and I think what hurts the most is I wasn’t able to say goodbye

So sorry for your loss. Do you know about this charity that may be able to help you?

I’m am truly sorry for your horrendous loss it’s utterly devastating in my thoughts and prayers take care of yourself as much as possible Adele x

I feel your unbearable grief I too lost my son to murder 3 months ago he was only 18 years old he was brutally stabbed to death and died all alone in his murders home he was such a kind hearted gentle boy and would do anything for anybody he had never hurt a soul hadnt even had a fight in his life I miss him so much he had just started university and had his whole life ahead of him I wish I could take his place I would do it in an instant most days I just want to give up but I have a 7 year old little boy too and he is what helps get up and carry on each day i really hope you are feeling stronger and I hope I too will get stronger each day but at the minute it seemsw impossible x

I cannot add anything to the posts which have already been written, other than I feel so sad for you.
How you get through such a horrendous experience I do not know, I have just replied to linzy1980 and told her that my thoughts are with you and my heart is aching for you.
MaryL x

Hi Gary so sorry for your loss, I wish I didn’t know what you are going though, but I do, lost my son 6 month ago, and I know the pain and hurt you are feeling, we are all here for the same reason and will listen and be here for each other, unless you going though it nobody will understand, and never will, my love to you Gary Helen x

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