Hi, i lost my son 9 weeks ago, unexpectedly, we are so very close, he is my absolute world. I cannot say certain words i speak about him in the present. I am struggling so much, waves wash over me leaving me distraught, his partner is great support to me. I just wont believe its happened because then its “real”
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I am so sorry for your shocking loss. My darling son died unexpectedly at the end of November. He was 33. There are lots of bereaved parents here who will understand how you are feeling. Do post again.
I am so sorry you are suffering the loss of your son. We all on this site know exactly how you must be feeling. My son died suddenly too and shortly it will be the first anniversary. Do keep reading and posting on here, knowing you are not alone does help. It’s so raw for you now but over time the waves will get less. That doesn’t mean you love your dear son any less.
I also lost my eldest son 14 weeks ago now. Grief is horrible and is different for everyone I think, although many of us have similar thoughts and feelings.
You will probably find these waves hit at any random moment and I’ve found you just have to go with it. Do what you need to to help yourself.
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Thank you for kind words, i know im not alone but i feel i am. My boy is my absolute world i am struggling so very much. Are any of you lovely people living in lincolnshire?
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I lost my son 4 weeks ago , he was 39.
The grief and what ifs are so hard .
I understand your pain .
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I’m in Cambridgeshire.
How old was your son ?
Yes its the what if’s, the why? So many unanswered questions. My thoughts are with you completely. Some days i think i am going mad when the waves of emotions hit hard, the tears that fall 
He was 35 when he fell asleep, so unexpected. Every day is hard to keep going, its like a nightmare but one i want to wake up from and its all ok
Yes , the unanswered questions are awful. We have no cause of death, the pm was inconclusive.
Do you have other family members to support you ?
It’s torture thinking of how, why, could we have changed anything ? And the fact that I didn’t protect him - I know I couldn’t but as a mum it’s my job …
Yes i have another son, older, who is very supportive, my daughter, the eldest, is quite hard and doesnt understand my feelings.
Yes as a mother you protect your children, i feel i failed too
Grief feels like the loneliest place on earth right now, i no longer feel like the strong dependable person who could help and solve. Me and Anna have got through Christmas and New Year without you. These dates on the calendar are no more painful than any other day. Dates are not so important now, i mourn the loss of your future and the life that you should have had. A life filled with clutter and chaos just how you would have wanted it. Its what made you. Quirky and kind with a caustic wit, no-one was safe around you. These memories will help me heal.
Being your mum was the best job and i am eternally grateful to our third gang member, your sister Anna, she misses you as much as i do and needs me, so I’m not redundant , i still have a job, I’m still Mum to 2 beautiful souls. My greatest achievements in life, you both completed me, a perfectly formed jigsaw only one piece is missing. I was never programmed to deal with such enormous loss, i cant understand or rationalise it because nothing will ever make sense to me. I thought my world had stopped when you died but realised it had only stopped for me, the world continued to turn for everyone else. Its like treading water when you cant breathe, new emotions swamp you and the struggle to stay afloat become harder.
Growing old with you would be my dream but time stood still the day you died. Trying to picture your future, it all ended that day.
Are you looking down on us and picturing the same?
You never failed. Life betrayed us. I bet you were fab x
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Hi I lost my son suddenly in a car crash 19 months ago and the police visit at my front door seems like yesterday ! Like you he was my best friend we did soooo much together and I still don’t accept it’s real xx take one day at a time and make sure you talk to people about him as much as you can
If you would like to maybe meet for a coffee as 2 mums together in the same boat I’d like that when your ready xx I’m in Southampton but wouldn’t mind driving
Take care and I send you love and hugs
Thank you for lovely message, i am in lincolnshire. Is there any way we can exchange phone numbers? Sending love back x
I lost my son in May and am so lost. It was sudden and unexpected. We are all having heart tests to find out if anything genetic. I hate life now. I hate that it took my beautiful Sam age 30 before me. It’s so wrong! I am so lost and am a completely different person. No confidence. Hide away from everyone. Sorry we are here - it’s so cruel and unfair.
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Wow Lisa that’s just aweful xx it’s good your all getting tests but yes to loose your child is just wrong ! My son was killed in a bad car crash caused by others who we have put away in prison ! I that was 21 months ago now but I still struggle to get out of bed and get through the day but I do it for him he wouldn’t want me to wallow xx your son I’m sure would feel the same we must get up we must put one foot in front of the other and get through life we won’t EVER be the same people we were but just do your best and know he would want you to go on xx I send love and hugs to you and all your family xx
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