My son

[Kelly75]

Hi i lost my darling 28 yr old son on the 21st of june this year and i just cant cope with it. It was so sudden . He complained of his leg burning and he couldn’t keeps his eyes open that was Thursday evening we lost him on Saturday early hours and i just dont know how to go on without him . I keep reading about talking to others thats gone through it but i don’t know anyone who as. I just know i cant live without him it hurts so much. I have 3 other children all grown and there heart-broken same as his dad so i try to hide my pain away but everyday it gets harder and the pain gets worse and worse

[Liin]

I’m so sorry for the loss of your son, such a tragic passing of your boy so young. Allow yourself to grieve and just breathe, there are no words I can express to give you comfort. Although not quite the same I lost my daughter’s partner in March who was only 24 from a tragic car accident. I’ve been supporting my daughter while dealing with grief myself.
Life is so unfair and my heart goes out to you at this heartbreaking time. Sending you prayers and a gentle hug

[Seaneen]

Hello @Kelly75,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your darling son. I can see that @Liin has kindly offered their support, but I just wanted to share this thread from our Losing a child category with you:

My son died aged 33

My wonderful son died at the end of November and we are in bits. He had been suffering from long covid for some months, or so we thought, but we now suspect it might have been heart problems all along. He had chest pain, a persistent cough, night sweats and extreme fatigue. We tried so hard to support him when he was unwell, inviting him to stay in our home, and trying to persuade him to go back to the doctors. It was very difficult to get an appointment and he kept saying the doctors couldn’t d…

It’s one of the many active and supportive threads where you can talk to others who are grieving their children. You are not alone.

You may also want to get in touch with The Compassionate Friends who support families who have lost a child of any age. They have a grief companion scheme where you can get 1-1 support from another bereaved parent. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.

Take good care and keep reaching out,
Seaneen

[Kelly75]

Thankyou both for your kindness and i am sorry for your loss

[Fjl]

Hi, I’m sorry you have lost your precious son. There are no adequate words.
I lost my eldest son age 40 in November. He had various symptoms since having Covid in march 22 but drs had not pinpointed anything specific.
My son also complained of burning, sensitive legs and the only relief he could get from them was by having showers.
He also had a lot of abdominal pain and his kidneys kept failing. In 2 yrs he had 24 hospital admissions. A post mortem b was carried out and his cause of death was ischaemic heart disease.
I raised a complaint about his lack of treatment and failed diagnosis and am awaiting the results of an investigation.
Sorry, I’m rambling on a bit I know.
It will be 37 weeks this Friday since I got the call.
I also have 3 other sons, we’ve all been affected. I think in the initial weeks I was too busy sorting things, in denial and numb from shock. After Xmas I was then organising his ashes etc. Then I decided to get all of his medical notes and make my complaint.
Everyone else slowly returned to their normal routines but my world stopped.
Some days I am very down and then other days I’m ok. I still cry a lot and it can be really simple things that set me off.
I’ve only lost grandparents and in laws, my parents are still here, age 90 and 88.
I think losing Ben will always be the absolute worst thing in my life.
Having his ashes in our local cemetery has helped as I can go whenever I want, I talk to him, sometimes I cry, sometimes I’m quiet. I also had some ashes put into a ring, which I’m happy with too. ( I always thought that ashes in jewellery was weird before! )
Two of my boys wanted necklaces so that is a comfort to them.
All I can say is that we all cope differently and you have to do what helps you - I probably have come across as selfish to some people but I don’t care. You’re just trying to survive the most unimaginable, awful thing to happen and until someone has gone through the loss of a child, they have no right to judge.
If you can talk to someone, a friend, a relative or in here then just rant when you need to. Another thing in the early days was I wrote down my feelings and thoughts because I couldn’t say them out loud without dissolving. Even now on some days my brain is like a kaleidoscope of images, memories and unanswered questions. I have to stop myself and mentally put a lid on that box to make myself keep going.
I hope one day I will be able to actually speak about those things without breaking down.
Anyway, if any of my waffling on helps you then I’m glad. Sending you a hug x

[Kelly75]

I am so for your loss also. And no need to apologise you wasnt waffling. Im the same the picture of him lying in the hospital bed keeps jumping into my mind and thats when the panic attacks start so i have to think of a jumble of other things. Thankyou for taking the time to reply. I hope one day you will find peace

[Fjl]

Thank you , you also.

[Bonita]

Hi Kelly
I’m so sorry to hear your news I lost my son 6th April suddenly no warning and it will be 4 months on Sunday every day has been a struggle knowing I won’t hear his voice his laugh etc some days have been unbearable you need to take one day at a time even a hour at a time go at your own pace and your pace only there will be good days in a way where memories will make you smile it’s a long journey x

[Kelly75]

Im so sorry for you’re loss. I just dont feel like i can carry on without him ya know nothing makes sense anymore