My son

How do you cope? I gave birth to my boy at 23 weeks and 4 days. He was with me for 9.5 hours. It was the greatest yet hardest day of my life. It’s been 12 weeks today. I’m only living because of my daughter. She’s saving me but I feel like I’m dying inside. I feel like it’s my fault my body couldn’t keep him in. I tried so hard. His dad is useless. My so called friends haven’t contacted me they’ve said that I’ve pushed them away. I got told yesterday that I should stop wallowing…. Is the person right? I feel so guilty he’s not here I miss him. I keep having outburst of crying uncontrollable even whilst my daughter is there. She’s only 1. I have tried to go back to work but they put me on maternity after being back for 2 weeks as it’s retail based it’s all newborn baby boy things I was dealing with. Help me. I don’t want this feeling to drown me anymore.

I’m so sorry for you loss and the lack of support you are getting from his dad and friends, you are not wallowing you ate grieving, you are entitled to feel every feeling you are feeling, please don’t blame yourself, you have a wee girl so your body has held a child that survived, it is just one of these horrendous situations, maybe the dr could help aswell as talking on here and to others that will listen, you are doing great and don’t feel guilty for crying, you have lost your baby

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How awful that you are going through this alone.
Your grief will be immense, you had spent many weeks carrying your sweet boy, making plans for your sheared future as a family.

Grief has no time line and even on a good day you might suddenly be overwhelmed. It’s so very natural.
Your tears will be a relieve valve so let them flow and be kind to yourself.
If you need help from your doctor you should contact them. Don’t rule out a bit of counselling if it helps. These are some of the tools that out there for you.

Regarding your husband, obviously you know him better then any of us, but is there a chance he is grieving in silence. Sometimes they find it hard to show how they truly feel.

Take care
Dee xxx

Thank you for your words. I’m trying my best. His dad isn’t my husband. He had lied and said he was single when in fact he was still with his wife. Only just this morning got the truth out of him that he had lied about it. He’s not grieving. I saw that in the way he what’s been xx

Oh I’m so sorry!! As if you dont have enough to cope with.

Life just keeps dishing out the crap doesnt it.
Please remember we are here for you. We grief with you for your loss.

Let us help where we can … you can rely on us.

Dee xx