My son

Hi i lost my darling son paul, 07/04/2018
I really have no idea how I’m still here.
Paul ended his own life and the devastating thing is i will never understand why.
Why didn’t you come and speak to me
Why did i go to work that night
Why did you not come to me
Why why why
I have felt every single emotion possible i hate myself for still being here.
He was my world and i just don’t see the point of me anymore.
But every day i get up put one foot in front of the other and carry on xx

Hello @Linda6 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your son. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Hi linda im truly sorry for your loss .this wicked world we live in .everyone who looses a son or dayghter have guilt .this life without our lovely children is heartbreaking theres a thread on here lost son at 27 loads of parents talk on there big hugs zoe xxx

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Hi Linda6 I too lost my son and so agree with your words , how do we go on, this awful nightmare journey. As Zoe says please take a look at the thread “ loss of our son aged 27” lots of help there . Another Christmas without our boys , it will never be the happy time it was and it rubs salt in the wound. I am so sorry your son Paul took his own life, the pain must be incredible, men keep so much to them selves so often , they put on a brave face. The feelings of Guilt we have seem to come along no matter how they pass , I also feel so much guilt as a mother we think we should have been able to prevent it , should have known somehow. We do the best we can at the time , we know that, we loved them and still do, but still the guilt won’t let go.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other as you are doing and we are all doing and I recommend you look out for Jim10 posts he also lost his son , his posts are so insightful and seem to put things across so well.
Take care xx

Hi Jess
Cant believe our 2nd xmas without our boys . Does it feel different .no the pain hurts just as much .this big hole in our world .such a lonely road we walk .i always think about you . Are you spending Xmas with your son . Sending you massive hugs jess . Always here xx zoe xx

Oh you still awake to Zoe, even after all this time we still have trouble sleeping. Yes the pain hurts just as much , another day and another day, ground hog days ! Yes my other son will be here for Christmas and we have to try for them don’t we. I had a melt down last Christmas hoping I do better this time. I always think about you to . Hugs Xxx