My Son.

Losing a child
1

24 weeks ago we were living our normal life, my eldest Son had a fall & fractured his ankle, my other Son had taken over walking his dog for him until he seen the fracture clinic, i called my Son several times that day but couldn’t get him on the phone im disabled so its nigh on impossible to climb the stairs to his house, i then called my other Son to say i couldnt reach him he told me not to worry he was just heading down to walk the dog, he was in a few hours earlier & all was well, 3 to 4 minutes later my phone rang & when i answered it i had a blood curdling scream down the phone “My Brother is dead, my Brother is dead”, i he only lived a street away, just one street away, i made my way down & crawled up the stairs to my Son’s flat & the police & ambulances were already there, My Darling Son John died that day, he was only 43 & there was no reason for his passing Sudden Adult Death Syndrome, i think thats one of the main reasons i cant accept it if there was a reason well, there would have been something, as long as i live i will never get over losing him & my other Son finding him has scarred him forever, there was just the two of them & they were extremely close, thats now gone forever.

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Hello @J_J_C_1_2,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

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Oh @J_J_C_1_2 your story is so difficult to read. How absolutely heart breaking and life changing for you and your son. I lost my dad to Cancer 6 weeks ago at the age of 67, my situation is obviously different to your own, but I just wanted to pop a message on to let you know you’re not alone in your grief. Theres so many of us on here that sadly understand your trauma and pain and we come on here to listen to each others storeys and ways of coping, and we are here for you. I’m not sure I even have one way of coping right now as my mental health has hit rock bottom this week, but I’m here to chat if you ever want to message or just reply on this thread. I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. When you’re ready, let yourself think of the happy memories you had with him and this will help to fight the darkness. I’ve made a memory wall in my bedroom of pictures of my Dad over the years enjoying his mountain climbing and times with us as a family at our caravan…some days those photos break me and I can’t breathe from crying, other days they comfort me and help me remember the short time on this earth we had together. All my love to you and your son xxx

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Many thanks for such a beautiful reply, at the moment i feel as though mÿ heart has been ripped out of my chest & torn to pieces, i think only those who have been through this know what it’s like so it means so much to get a reply from someone else who has recently suffered a loss, i really wish you all the very best in life, i thank you sincerely for such a beautiful & supportive message when you are going through so much yourself, its truly appreciated & please trust me as i write this saying I really appreciate you.
My Son was only 43 & his passing has been put down to SADS. My heart is also taking a pounding as I think of what my only other child is going through, he is 42 & they were so very close I can see it in his eyes when we are together that he is a broken soul too, I dont know what to say or do to try & help him, he has 3 children all with additional needs the eldest used to go to her Uncle John’s every Saturday evening to play the Xbox or Playstation but its not the same niw when she comes occasionally to mine as I’m in no way cool like her Uncle, please accept my many thanks for taking the time to talk with me, I really can’t break away from the loneliness that I feel, knowing someone somewhere is taking the time to message me, I lost my beautiful soulmate, my Husband back in 2002 he was only 52 at the time & I was only 42, he had prostate cancer & it was so difficult so i truly know what you are going through, i can say that as I have been there, if you need to talk I’m here for you, much love to you.
Jo . X

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