I just can’t function. Are so afraid. Having panic attacks. See no purpose or point in living. I want my son back.
I’m so so sorry. I can’t imagine how you wouldn’t be feeling the way you are. Do you mind me asking how long it is since you lost him?
January 6th. I just can’t function at all. Feel numb and frozen. He was given an antipsychotic drug he was allergic to. They are covering up. I have all his records. They knew clozapine would kill him.
You’ve taken a brave step reaching out @Sheena19, we’re all here for you.
I’m hearing how painful this is all feeling for you which is understandable to hear. I wanted to share some further support resources if you wanted more support outside of the community. They are always just a call or text away anytime you would like someone to talk to:
- Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
- Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
- You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline .
- If you have any concerns for your health or safety, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.
If you’re interested in counselling, we offer free sessions at Sue Ryder. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You deserve this support, keep reaching out, we’re here for you 
Hi Sheena 19
I am so sorry for your loss i lost my son in December it was very sudden i am not strong enough yet to give details of how he died but I feel the same as you I am having counselling and she gave me this web site I’ve only just come on it myself but I am here for you to say what ever you want .Please take care and post something soon Linda (jonathan 19 )
Dear Sheena
I’m so sorry you’ve lost your son…my heart breaks for you and I’m sending love.
I lost my younger son in 2019 - he was 30. I was totally broken…constantly exhausted from crying, screaming at times…really desperate. Sleep was elusive but I found I could rest which was better than nothing.
I was given wonderful support on here…just take an hour at a time…try and go for a short walk…meditate. Meditation was one of my best discoveries- I use an app called Headspace. It takes the panic away for me…it gets you concentrating on breathing.
We’re all here for you. Do you have family and friends around you.
Big hugs
Purple x
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Oh god, that’s horrendous (sorry for my slow reply by the way).
You must be in so much pain.
My mum died in different circumstances to your son but in a needlessly painful and lonely way, through lack of care in hospital. So I understand a little about being left with unbearable feelings, including rage.
I’m not in the least surprised you feel like you can’t function. You must be totally shocked by what’s happened.
I’m not sure I can ever really deal with the pain of knowing that my mum died in the way she did. I just know I have to keep living, despite feeling often like I can’t.
I do know that as the 10 months since she died have gone by, I’m very slowly remembering more about her and good memories and less about the awful hospital at the end, although it’s still with me.
January 6th is so very recent, as I’m sure you know. I wish I could give you a hug. Because as we all know, sometimes there are no words.
I’m thinking of you x
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Hi Sheena, just wonder how you are doing? You have been brave in messaging here and taking that first step. I hope you are getting help with your panic attacks. Take care and sending you a big hug xxx