My sons witnessed the death of their grandfather

Losing a grandparent
1

My dad passed away 7 weeks ago and had been in hospital for 3 weeks prior to his passing.
During this time my sons aged 17 and 21 visited daily as their relationship with their grandad was very strong.
On the day he passed away both my sons were with him in the hospital room and although it was peaceful there are images and conversations that took place that I know I am struggling with and so are my boys.
They won’t talk to me about what happened and I don’t think they talk to anyone and I am becoming increasingly concerned with how this is affecting them
Can anyone offer advice or suggestions as to how we can help my sons please
Thank you

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Hello @RachB, I’m very sorry for the loss of your dad. It can be hard to grieve while supporting your children through grief, too.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share some resources which may help your sons.

Our Grief Kind campaign has created lots of resources to help you to support someone you love through grief. You can:

  • Watch our Grief Kind classes. Our Grief Kind classes are five short video tutorials in which Sue Ryder bereavement experts talk you through what grief is like and how you can support others who are grieving
  • Listen to our Grief Kind podcasts. . Our Grief Kind podcasts are hosted by author, journalist and Sue Ryder ambassador, Clover Stroud. She speaks with celebrities about their personal experiences of bereavement and the support which helped them most when coping with their grief.
  • Read our Supporting someone who has been bereaved guide.

Both yourself and your sons may also find these resources helpful:

I really hope that you find these links useful- take good care,

Seaneen

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My son was with his dad my husband when he collapsed and suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. My husband was 53 years old and my son was 22 years old and just turned 23. It was very traumatic for my son as he was on his own. He had rang the ambulance but took 40 minutes to come. My son is very inward while I cry all the time. My husband best friend is checking up on him and the doctor offered him some councelling which didn’t work out. I now made him appointment to go and talk to someone as I am worried that he will one day explode as he is angry at times. I would just keep talking to your boys or get a close friend to talk to them. Maybe take them down the doctor’s and see if they can help. I think the more you push it the more inwards they become. Let them know that you are worried about them and that you are always there to listen. Take care and big hugs xx

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@RachB your sons are young adults so I would encourage open dialogue about what happened and discuss possible lines of support, if needed. Everyone processes grief in their own way and perhaps they feel partly protective of your feelings too. As long as they’re aware of how they might manage their emotions, it should reassure you. Take care xx