My struggle

Hi. I’ve just joined this community. I lost my husband in November after years of progressive illness. I thought I’d be able to cope after the inevitable but how wrong was I. We lost our only child 31 years ago and that grief has also come flooding back.

I have to force myself to get out of bed, showered etc. Sometimes its lunch time. I feel I no longer have any purpose in life. I’m always weary yet don’t sleep well. I can’t eat the same foods we ate as a couple and cry such a lot. Also feel immense guilt over arguments, decisions etc. As I feel now I just don’t know how much longer I can cope with this. I have very little family but do have wonderful friends and I know I’m lucky to have them. Sometimes though I don’t want to socialise and feel this is being ungrateful.

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Hi @Bobbie24

Sorry for your losses :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

It’s bloody awful this grief journey isn’t it! Just take each day as it comes and try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Someone on here advised that we need to make our world bigger to stop the grief from consuming us.

Grieve how you need to but don’t give up. It’s going to be hard but you’ll get through. Ask your husband for strength to support you through.

Sending you love and hugs :hugs:

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You have had lots of loss in your life @Bobbie24 and it’s so natural to feel overwhelmed with grief and emotion. No motivation and lack of purpose are things I struggle with too and I find it difficult to get anything done at all some days.
Lean on your friends, they are there for the hard times , and if that feels too much then allow yourself time on your own so you can process all your thoughts and emotions.
Just a day at a time
Sending hugs and strength xx

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Thank you for your kind and supportive words. Everything just seems so pointless most days. You take care xx

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Hi Bobbie24
I am sorry that you too find yourself on another long and winding road that grief is.I never ever want to know the pain of losing a child.I do unfortunately,have the pain of losing my beautiful husband.
I too struggle to get out of bed,get on with life.I had to delete all of my husband’s favourite foods, snacks from the shopping online supermarket.I can’t bear to see the things he loved.I can’t even go into some shops.Too many memories.All happy.I am exhausted but can’t sleep well at all.
I am finding out that grief can give many gifts.Chest pain,mouth ulcers ,upset stomach,shingles.The list is exhaustive.
I cry at the drop of a hat.I go over and over arguments we had.I feel so guilty.I think it is another way that grief torments us.I bet like me you feel you are going insane.Grief ,as you are all too aware is a smothering,cruel thing.Grief of losing a child is a different grief to losing a partner.You must be torn in two .
As people say to me (who have never lost anyone) Stay strong .I find that annoying.
Just do whatever you can to help you.
Take care.xx

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So sorry. It’s such a hard journey we have been forced to take. Just try and get through each day the best you can and be kind to yourself.

Thank you so much Catrina. Hopefully one day I’ll wake up and not think my lovely husband is still with me and I can get on with a “normal” day. The sense of loss really hurts and I’m sure is the same for you in your loss.

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