My wife died in her sleep 3 weeks ago. We were together for 26 years. Now I am lost. She was going to retire in 3 months. All our dreams and plans are gone now. Everyday is a struggle and a roller coaster of emotions. The only thing keeping me going is our 5 house cats that depend on me for survival. I’m so empty inside.
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I’m sorry for your loss. I’m 3 months in after my partner suddenly died of a cardiac arrest, he was only 69. You are in the very early days, I was in shock for week to be honest. I hope you have some support from family or friends. Just try to eat and sleep when you can. Take any help that if offered, and ask for help if you need it too. At the moment, look after yourself. The people on here are so supportive. Read some of the other mails and reach out when you need to. 
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I’m very sorry for your loss. Those early days are so awful, you are in a constant fog and the crying and longing for your partner is constant.
I lost my darling husband 6 months ago and I’m just distraught without him. My best friend, he was 60 and 12 days, so I just think of him as 59. He hardly knew he’d turned 60, he was so ill in hospital from pancreatic cancer, only 6 weeks after diagnosis.
I hope you have support around you, it’s a lonely place to be. Please read and post here, there’s always someone who will offer help and advice.
Take care x
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I’m so sorry, that’s a horrible thing to happen. At 3 weeks you’re probably still in a state of shock. I’m 7 months in following my partner’s sudden death. I hope you have support as it is a very difficult journey you’re on now. I wish I could say it gets better soon but for most people grief never leaves you, just gets easier over time, or so I’m told. Although it’s difficult to make decisions, don’t feel pressured by others, do what makes you feel comfortable. Keep posting on here it really helps.
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Lonerider, it’s just awful, isn’t it? Nothing prepares you and it’s like a physical blow and you’re in shock. I find my memory is shot, things don’t matter any more. I don’t want to go anywhere without him and the house is empty BUT
It really does get less painful in time. I’m nine months in, and in the beginning, I could hardly speak for grief. I was in tears all day, every day and didn’t know where to turn. We were together for 56 years and it really felt as though I was ripped in half. I went out as much as I could, alone or in company, I joined a Widow and Widowers Club and talked, talked, talked, and gradually, gradually there came a day when I wasn’t crying all the time. Those days increased and now I can think of him with happiness instead of despair. Of course I get a tear in my eye when I see a photo of us but it doesn’t lead to depression.
So cry in the knowledge that one day, the tears will stop. Your grief will always remain, but you’ll be strong enough to welcome the memories without such pain. xx
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