My wife Sandra passed away suddenly without warning on 8th September 2023 after 52 wonderful happy years. I’m lost, I cry constantly, I miss her so much the ache in my heart is hard to bear. I call out her name just for her to say something, the house every morning and every evening is so cold and empty. We did everything together I think that’s why it hurts so much now she’s not here. I talk to her phots constantly, telling her how muck I love her and how much I miss her. I just want to hold her hand and want her to just sit with me. I see couples walking holding hands I wish that was me and Sandra, all the things we were going to do places to visit. I feel upset Sandra won’t see all the things we were going to do in the home and in the garden. I love her so much, I know one day I will be happy again when we are together.
@TR4 So sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you because I totally understand what you are going through. I lost my husband of 40 years 8 weeks ago so I understand the pain you are going through and the crying and the loneliness. I have cried every morning since I lost my beatiful Tony. As with you the mornings and evenings and weekends are cold and empty. I long to be able to talk to him, laugh with him, kiss him. I wish that he would hug me and tell me that everything will be ok. As with you all our future plans are in tatters. Seeing couples makes me sad because I know that that will never happen again.
This journey and life (which we did not choose) is a long and painful one. I can only manage an hour at a time, one day at a time. I cannot think of the future as ii is too painful. I’m sorry I do not have any solutions except that grief is different for everyone and how we deal with it. I’m sure someone else who has walked this journey further than me will reply to support you. This is a good place to post how you are feeling and you will be supported by everyone here as I have.
Please look after yourself and if yo have family and friends to support you, let tem do so.
I hope that tomorrow will be a more tolerable day for everyone.
Sending love and hugs. x
Thanks StarrGate, I look at her photo and can’t believe Sandra isn’t here. The days are long now, I’m trying to keep busy. My sons have been fantastic, helping me sort finances death certificate, funeral and the wake. I’ve been going out to their houses for tea every night which really helps, but when I come home I breakdown and cry so much telling Sandra where I’ve been and I’m so sorry I’ve left her all alone. I go to bed and pray asking God to look after her and make sure Sandra’s not lonely.
I know how you feel even for it’s 9 months for me, I lost Joan suddenly, I could not stand the thought of her being alone during the weeks between the inquest and the funeral, after I put her ashes in a grave with her mother and sister and felt that she was not alone any more.
She too had plans for the house and garden and I had plans for 4 Greek holidays for this year, the last photo and video is of her dancing in a greek taverna in Kalamaki in Zante last August.
We miss ,not only our girls ,but also our lost futures without them, our homes become just a building to survive in, I have stayed in today and not spoken to a soul all day, no text nothing, it’s tough being on your own, keep visiting your family for support, you can’t win, if you are upset all the time people are uncomfortable being around you but if you do your grieving in private they think you’re ok.
It’s a horrible journey we’re on and I hope we can finish it to find some joy again.
Thank you it means a lot. I know we are not on our own listening to others who are going through this terrible time in our lives.
@TR4 you’ve put into words what we are all feeling.
I cry constantly, so much so my face is now sore.
Sending you love
I know exactly how you are feeling I too had been married for 50 years . I wake up sometimes calling my husbands name and I hear his voice calling me too ! I know we have to try and carry on and move on in a way but I wish I were still able to be doing things with him I truly don’t feel part of anyone any more Be strong if you can it’s hard but that’s what we have to try and be x good luck