My wife’s funeral this coming Wednesday- I hope i can cope with it no family either my wife or myself and very few real friends. My wife will be at the funeral home tomorrow and I have to decide whether or not to see her in an open coffin. Going by comments on other conversations it would seem to be a good thing to do. I hope I have the strength to get through Wednesday.
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Hello Pete, you are such a brave person and I know that you will make the right decision for you regarding seeing your lovely wife. It’s not an easy thing to decide about and depends on what you expect. I saw my soulmate but It’s a very personal thing. The actual funeral day was ok until everyone had gone. Everyone was lovely and sweet which I was thankful for and I am sure you will be fine. I shall be thinking of you on Wednesday and sending you love and blessings. S xxx
Hi Susie123
Thanks for your reply - I am not sure what I am looking forward the least - seeing my dead partner of 40 years or the funeral itself. The funeral directors are very good and everything is arranged, my wife wanted an informal non-religious service, we decided before she died that rather than flowers donations to the hospice she was in. Her (and mine) favourite colour is blue so I have asked people to wear something blue and no black. My wife belonged to a couple of clubs so there will be a few there.
Hello Pete, I saw my husband the day before his funeral, I just needed to see him one more time and kiss him and say goodbye. It was hard. Our daughter wouldn’t let me go on my own. It is very personal decision.
The day of the funeral the hardest part for me was following the hearse on the way to the crematorium, I was more composed during the service until the at the end. The funeral home staff were very compassionate and got me through it.
This was under covid rules, after the service we were allowed to gather outside for a short while and everyone was very kind.
You will find the strength to get through it, I will be thinking about you on Wednesday. X X
Hi Pete it’s so very hard I lost my husband last year I couldn’t have seen him in the coffin I don’t think I could have faced it and didn’t want that the last thing I remember, but you have to do what’s right for you my thoughts are with you for Wednesday it will be very hard but you will get through it xx Yvonne
Thanks Yvonne - I think and hope it will help me seeing Karen for the last time, I will have to go well supplied with hankies. It was more than painful sorting out clothes for her to wear. The funeral home is very good and nothing is too much trouble for them.
Yes you must do what you feels right , my dad was in a home before he passed away and they were all so very helpful, it’s so sad my husband to be died very sudden such a shock we were due to married 6 weeks after he past I still can’t get my head around it feel lost of the evenings hate bedtime x
Hi Yvonne
Thanks for your reply, you have had an impossible time I hope you are coping ok. My hate is mornings - as soon as I wake up (sleeping tablets have helped) my thoughts turn to my dead wife, as soon as I get up anything I touch or see reminds me she is no longer here. Our cat has taken to sleeping on my bed now so that is a comfort.
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Hello Pete,
I am sending my very best wishes for the coming days.
Our thoughts will be with you on Wednesday.
Take care.
Stephen
Oh Pete my dog now sleeps on my bed I find it a great comfort I can hear him snoring so it’s nice hearing a little noise I listen to sleep meditation and that helps me to go to sleep I miss him bringing my tea and biscuits up each morning , there are reminders everywhere I still have all his shirts hanging up can’t seem to take them out , there’s reminders every time I go out it’s very hard , I get quite a bit of anxiety since he went and when I get Ill I think I’m going to die as he died suddenly I still can’t get my head around it xx
Hi Yvonne
Thanks for your reply, I’m going to leave Karen’s bedroom as she left it, she used to do embroidery in the spare room and did paintings that are dotted around the house. Karen used to call down to me in the morning for a cup of tea, it’s little things like this that are heart-breaking.
I agree Pete it’s all the small things you miss xx