I lost my wife on 14th october, sarah had bowel cancer. Im really not coping well. I feel so alone in our flat. I dont hear from anyone much and i kind of feel isolated. Its like the walls close in on me… i can barely sleep and when i do its not good sleep… i wake up every day feeling wiped out, i cared for my wife on my own full time for the last 1 1/2 sarah had severe pain and wasnt very mobile. So i was with her all the time… i just feel lost i dont know if im coming or going atm. Im isolating myself from the world. I know its not healthy but seeing people going about normal life triggers me… the first couple months i think i was just numb. Now the pain is unbareable. I really dont know how i will get through this… my person is gone 
i hope it will subside soon… im your typical man people ask me are you ok and i say yes im ok… but im really not. It feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest 
my mum passed away in 2019 and i shut myself away then too for a whole year… i really dont want to do that again. At the start i had things occupying me… but now the dust has settled… and im coming to terms with it… i feel so alone. it feels like everyone has just forgot about me…
@Marc
It is still really early for you Marc. You’ve been through a huge trauma. The bad sleeping is really normal… someone on hear was talking about starting a 3am club! And the detachment from the rest of the world like you’ve been pushed off to watch from the sidelines.
I can relate to how it is when you’ve been caring for someone. My husband had a cancer we knew was incurable for 10.5 years and in the last years his mobility was minimal and we became very isolated, just us against the world. So there’s a huge void when what has become the purpose of your life is taken away.
I’ve no easy answers for you sorry. But have you got something like an Andymans club near you? There are some really good mens support groups these days.
Keep posting here we all get what you’re going through.
Hi Marc ,i am 18 months in ,i lost my husband in June 2023 ,unfortunately tte grieving process feels unbearable, dont be hard on yourself it is very early days for you .I found that bereavement councilling has helped me ,i attended a bereavement support group once a month (which has sadly come to an end now ),but the group have remained friends, just speaking to others who know exactly how you feel really has helped ,just know you are not on your own (i know ,you will have heard this a thousand times ),i am a bit further down the road in the grieving process so any questions you may have if i can help in anyway i will ,please take care of yourself and remember 1 day at a time ,even 1 hour at a time is all we can do .
Hi @Marc We are told to be strong proper men and keep a stiff upper lip and all that rubbish. I used to race motorbikes, I had so many broken bones and injuries and I had a near fatal crash when I was 24, but you just get up and keep going, we are men right.
I know now nothing compares to the pain of grief, I am still in the early parts myself, I can tell you that locking yourself away won’t help, I did that when my father died, I still find it hard to talk about him now, I am determined not to do that this time with my partner.
There is no rush though, we all have to do it on our own terms, when we feel able to. I can’t tell you I know how you feel because nobody does, we all grieve in different ways, but I can promise you you’re not alone.
Take care my friend.