… he really was. It seems so wrong and bloodeeee awful to talk about my Dad in the past tense. He had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on 18th October and deteriorated very quickly with other complications. Dad came to stay with me on 19th November and he passed away at home, with me and my little daxy on 24th November. I cannot put into words how much I miss him and struggle to believe that he has gone. I am completely shell shocked and in denial. Not one for big displays of affection or really loving words, when he did say anything along those lines, it meant so much, something to be remembered and cherished. It breaks my heart when I think back to him saying ‘we’ll get through this darling, I love you’. My brother died 3 1/2 years ago and actually passed whilst I was speaking to him on the phone. Life was bad enough coming to terms with that and it didn’t take much to set me back. Now this has happened and it is just too much. I know time is a great healer, but I’ve only just got my life back onto some sort of track and now this has knocked me for six. I just want to batten down the hatches and not do anything, because everything is such a struggle. It’s all so awful. How have others managed to cope?
Oh Nx28 my heart goes out to you.
I’m not coping. I’m just existing. Taking one day at the time & hoping for the best.
Your loss is so fresh & compounded by losing your brother so you are doing great to be able to reach out on this site! It took me 4 months before I could even think I need to reach out to others in the same position as me. My dad died 14 years ago today & my mum in late July.
What support network do you have around you?
Im so sorry for you i lost my dad suddenly a year ago an its still really hard to deal with an i still sometimes think it didnt happen ill b walking around an someone will remind me of him an for that split second ill think its him even tho its impossible it has gotten easier over time though its definitely not as raw as when it first happened talking about him really helps, remembering the good times we had , visiting his grave an talking 2 him helps although i talk 2 him anywhere not just his grave , councilling can be helpful for some ppl its early days for you ya just have 2 take each day at a time an look after yourself.
Thank you so much … x … I know exactly what you mean, it is so, so difficult because one minute he was there, talking to me, then he started to slip away before my eyes … I had to do CPR on him whilst I was waiting for the ambulance to arrive … it is like a horrific dream … I keep expecting him to call, or I’m caught off guard and think I’ll tell Dad this or that … it is all so awful … the only consolation I have, is that hopefully my Dad and brother have been reunited
… I like to think there is somewhere else … I’m SO sorry for the loss of your parents, my heart goes out to you … x x x … I only had one lovely brother and I always thought we would be there for each other, but life had other ideas … I wish I had a family of my own, but unfortunately, apart from my dear little dog, I am on my own … he is keeping me going at the moment and I am so glad I have him … thank you so much for your message, I do appreciate it … x x x
I know EXACTLY how you feel … it catches you off guard and takes the wind out of your sails … x … I know it does get easier, but having just started brushing myself off a bit and feeling a little more like my old self, I’m slammed right back where I was when I lost my brother … it is so, so hard … I don’t want to keep on about it to people I know, especially with Christmas coming, I don’t want to drag people down and make them feel miserable, but I’m struggling, even though people say I’m coping well … x … I went out yesterday and it all welled up and wooshed over me and I just lost it … a lovely lady, who I didn’t even know, came up and said you look like you need a hug … I’m just going to keep my head down … pigeon steps … thank you for your lovely message and I’m thinking of you … take care of yourself … x x x
Hi ,my dad was wonderful too .we were best friends and really got closer after losing my mum 20 years ago .I use to call my mum every night at 9 pm before she went to bed and I continued to do this with dad.he wasn’t really use to anyone checking up on him but we became quite dependant on each other .if I didn’t call he would worry and we just fell into this routine .no matter what I did with my day I told him about .my child’s achievements at school and as a single mum my dad was my support .he did his best to take care of us all when mum passed .but all my siblings are married and have children of their own .once dad passed there was a terrible rift and I was left to cope with my grief on my own .I am very much alone now and still want to lift the phone to speak to my dad .it’s so difficult .having a very bad week after the anniversary of his death and alot of other feelings going on .