My world

I havnt been on for a while but I always read everyone’s heartache. It’s been one year (8th April 2020) since my duck was taken from me and I genuinely dont know where the last 12 months have gone . . . Somehow it feels like an insult to Gary (gaz) that time has passed and the first anniversary is here ! I only lost you a few days ago !! . . . That’s how it feels to me . . I’m sure other people will have the same emotions. I dont know when grief gets easier or if it ever will but I cant bare the thought of walking through life without my whole world by my side . Every single day feels like climbing a mountain, ts exhausting . Yesterday , my sister took me out with the dogs and we had a little picnic . I just want to hold my angel . . I literally cant wait to walk with my gary again . My soulmate loves me as I love him . As long as I know he is ok then I will be ok . . I will try my best to soldier on as he wants me too and look forward to our reunion . Cant way ! . Xx lesley


Hi Lesley, anniversaries are always hard, the first one in particular, however much you tell yourself it’s just another day, it isn’t, I lost my husband 9 years ago, and I miss him just as much now as then, I think you learn to live with it and in that way it’s easier, sending love Jude xx

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Dear Lesleyj,

Even though my Peter died nearly seven years ago, it is like it was yesterday, I think it is because he is always on my mind, there is never a day goes by that I don’t think about him or talk about him.

When the news came today that Prince Philip had died, I cried, I cried because I know what Her Majesty the Queen is now going through and the heartache that will be with her for the remaining years of her life. She was the same age as we were when we married and I hope that she survives this terrible heartache.

I just can’t stop thinking about her now being without her soulmate. I know they were lucky to have been married much longer than so many people on the forums but it doesn’t matter if you were married a few weeks, months or many, many years the heartache is always the same and the years, no matter how long we were married, will never, ever be enough, what we want is forever.

Love to you all.

Sheila (Lonely)


Dear Lesleyj. I know exactly how you feel. It was 1yr on 24th April that I lost peter and I can’t believe that a year has gone. every day I cry and don’t feel any better . I miss him so much life seems empty and I have no,purpose anymore. I have children and grandchildren who I love so much. But they don’t understand why I still feel so upset and can’t see a future anymore. Love to you. X

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Jen, I think you have sent the message to me in error.

Sorry I’m new to this. Just not great

Dear Jen,

I am so sorry you lost your husband last year to Covid, life has changed for you so much and it takes a long time to adjust to a different life because that is what we have now got a different life, a life we didn’t want and never expected to have.

We all have problems with the site when we first start and even after so if you get stuck there is always someone to ask and we will help you.


Hello Jen153,

Please let us know here at Admin, if we can help you at all to navigate around the site.

You can always email us, at, with the problems you are experiencing.

Take care,
Online Community Team

Thank you Sheila. It has helped me a great deal to come on here to know there are so many people who feel the same as I do. I thought I would feel better as do my children after a year but I feel worse. I am going to have to go to solicitors on Tuesday to sign away Peters bungalow a place he loved so much and had been in his family for nearly 100yrs. I keep thinking he would be upset to know it was going to a stranger but there is nothing I can do as he had one of these lifetime mortgages which means there is nothing left for our sons. These things in my mind are terrible as they pray on older people with no money. Sorry for my rant. Love jenny.x

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