Hi at my sisters suggestion our mom went to live with her mom is very poorly gradually getting worse over the last three years and she has gotten excellent care from my sibling, along with a brother I work full time with other commitments but I always kept that one full day where I sat with mom so sister could have some sort of rest always offered to go and care for mom if she needed a break, mom is now at end of life and due to lockdown I haven’t been allowed by my sister to see my mom my sister has such anger towards me verging on the edge of violence I cannot do right for doing wrong and it’s making my anxiety go thru the roof I want to support her and my mom but she won’t let me, my mom is close to death and I’m not allowed to see her and I genuinely do not know what I’ve done or not done I feel as if I’ve lost both my sister and my mom
Dear Jenni,
What a difficult situation for you to be in.
My first thought is: would your brother be able to act as a mediator?
Sometimes a third person who can listen to both sides can be helpful in sorting out a tricky situation.
Jo
Hi jo she isn’t right with him either he works away only home two nights a week x
Sorry to hear that. He must understand how you feel about it. Are you able to talk with your mum on the phone? When did you last see her? Do you have any idea why your sister is so protective? Does she think you could put your mum at risk of Covid by visiting her and is that a realistic concern?
I know that strictly speaking we are not yet allowed to go to other people’s homes, but there are exemptions, and I think that providing end of life care is one of those. Surely your sister can’t be there 24/7 and must need a break some time. I would have thought she would welcome you taking over for one day a week. Providing end of life care is not easy. From August until the end of November I was involved in looking after my mother-in-law and I could never have done that on my own. There were 3 of us taking it in turns, and during hand-overs we had to break the Covid rules, but took every possible precaution.
I hope you can find a way for your sister and you to work together. You will need each other’s support in the times to come and your mum will need the love and support of all 3 of you.
Hi
You could get the rapid Covid test the one people have 2 a week.
So you can explain to your sister that you don’t have Covid. Try the covid test then at least you would feel that you have done everything to see your mum
Even in hospital alow you to see your loved one at the end of life.
Sorry you have to deal with this situation on top of losing your mum.
Take care xx
Good luck with your sister.