Hi all I’m very new to this but saw this on the site and thought it might be helpful at least to see if others had similar experiences. My dad had to go into hospital last Friday and he was up and about even walked to the car. We bought him home yesterday and he’s been very withdrawn can’t get up anymore and just seems exhausted his breathing is off now needs oxygen. It’s just a stark contrast to when we bought him in. I’m in my 20’s and it’s been the hardest thing ever especially when I don’t know how this happened my dad used to be up and talking even getting up to walk to the bathroom but now he seems shattered and exhausted. Really struggling to navigate this whole thing especially this young I thought I would have so much more time with my dad. Any similar experiences would be very helpful or any tips!
Hello @Xenak,
I’m Harriet, and I’m part of the Online Community team. I wanted to say thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad and everything you’re going through, especially at such a young age. I can imagine it must be incredibly difficult to suddenly see your dad so exhausted and withdrawn, particularly when he was up and about so recently.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources which might be helpful right now.
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Our Supporting someone at the end-of-life pages contain practical advice for those helping someone close to death and information about what you can expect when death is near.
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Our Anticipatory grief page talks about the feelings associated with grief in the days, months or years before someone dies. This is known as anticipatory grief, as you are grieving for someone who is still alive.
I hope you find the community a good source of support as you navigate this difficult time. We’ll be here for you.
Take good care - you are not alone.
Harriet
My husband was ill with COPD for a few years and eventually he declined and was on oxygen 24/7. He gradually stopped wanting to eat. I had carers and District Nurses came. He was given a hospital bed and I slept downstairs next to him. My daughters came to stay in his last week and we were by his side when he very peacefully let out a sigh and died.
You should reach out for help to your doctor and get practical advice and nurses to help you. We found my husband’s death very calm and peaceful. My youngest daughter was holding his hand and saying “I love you Dad” just as he died. We miss him but we suffered anticipatory grief before he died. Afterwards we felt relieved that he was not suffering anymore. We still miss him and love him though.
Sending you love.
Thank you he passed away at home early in the morning with all of his children and his wife. We are still coming to terms with everything