Nearly 2 years....and somehow the pain feels worse...

2 years in May, since I lost my Soulmate and some how the last few months have been the worse!
Everyone else seems to have moved on with life, kids, family, friends…
Yet, I continue to try and rebuild my life, but fail…still stuck in this bubble alone.
Every day you continue to pretend everything is ok… when really you want to scream…I am not ok and no one understands how I am feeling…
How do you move on? Without upsetting everyone around you…


Dear Hayden68, it is over a year now since my husband suddenly died and I feel the same - life just stopped. I am on my own and still have no idea how to carry on or what to do next or why I am still here but I try to carry on as well as I can. I know that our loved ones do not want that we are the whole time sad and stop living but it is so hard not to give up. Do you have any family or friends who can support you? Sending love and hugs.


@Hayden68 . Hi . It will be three year in September since my husband died . I found the second year very hard . The realisation that this is my life now and I am the only one who can change it , really hit me hard … I am also stuck in my own grief bubble ,but put on such an act with work and my kids , they do think I’m coping . Thankfully there is this site where I can put down my true feelings and people do understand . I know I’m not the me I was , will never be her again , but just lately I have noticed ,small pieces of who I was ,returning to the me I am now . I have finally accepted my husband can’t come back and it’s not my time yet to be with him . I have adapted my thoughts to knowing I have to live this life out without him . But know how bloody hard it is . I never understood the meaning of moving on , but maybe that is what I’m doing . Don’t worry about other people around you , you must do whatever is best for you , you are the most important person to you now . Xtake carex


So very sorry for your loss,Big hugs
I totally understand ,I am nearly 18 months on this horrendous journey ,and missing
My husband more than ever ,my husband had a cardiac arrest whilst driving
I was in the car with him ,
Take care


Almost 2 yrs for me too and you’re right this second year is no better at all, in fact in a lot of ways it’s worse. Every time I have a couple of better days then I start to feel guilty that maybe I’m forgetting my dear husband of more than 51years and I’m a mess all over again. It doesn’t help that nobody ever mentions him, even my only son. It’s as if everybody but me has forgotten him.


Its so horrible i am at the same point in the journey as you are as i lost my partner of 22yrs through cervical cancer and the 2yr point is May 5th.
I really do struggle as i did everything with her and i cared for the 3yrs she was poorly to the final day when she passed at home in bed.
My life has massively changed. I cant even sleep upstairs and have slept on sofa for now 5years.
Thank god for my little french bull dog who i got just at the right time and she has been a important part in my grieving.
I have also put all my feelings down on paper in the form of poetry.
I go through so many emotions day in day out.
I get so angry at times over the littlest of things.
I have no motivation, but when i do it doesnt last long.
I try to get the dog out 2 or 3 times a day but if its wet outside she wont go anywhere and thats me in all day.
I feel so much for you as its hard,really hard.
No one knows it like you know it unless theyve dealt with it aswell.
Look after yourself and do talk on here.
I do it more than i thought i would ,and people listen to you so your not alone.
Its a good release and i feel better after coming on.And then you have something to distract you anticipating when you will have someone answering your message.
Take care .xx


Hi everyone,
Im 2 years in, in July ,losing my Husband of 40 years to heart failure, he was given a couple of days or so to live, he came home from hospital, on end of life care, carers and palliative care nurses, came in, it was the most horrendous time of mine and my families lives, he lasted 6 weeks and died in front of me ,i was holding his hand, Well the pain as you all know is awful, been through all the emotions, sometimes dont know how ive got this far, but keep thinking, he wouldnt want me to be unhappy, remember all the good times, sometimes i feel as if im yearning for him, and my heart will just burst, i tell myself Come on your doing ok,
Im sorry for all your losses, im not sure when or if I’ll ever get over this, got good family, but they cant be around me all the time, the loneliness gets to you, i try to get out best i can,
Take care, All. Xx