My dad passed at the beginning of the year. I’m an only child and only have mum as a relative- I have a husband (doesn’t understand how I feel) and 2 kids who I don’t want to feel they have support me.
I’m really struggling - not sure if a bereavement councillor would help, but equally don’t think I would be able to afford one. I would say I’m looking forward to seeing the end of 2023, but not sure what 2024 will bring
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So sorry for your loss. 
It’s difficult when you have to be the strong one, not being able to lean on anyone for the support you need while grieving. A grief counsellor can help, if it’s the right one. Could you find someone through the hospital in the area or maybe online, or maybe the church has grief support?
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@Nsp375 have you looked at the online resources? There is a lot of helpful advice and guidance to access. I also borrowed books about grief from my library and reading them helped me to understand what I was going through. Looking at posts on this forum can be useful too and sharing how you feel. I haven’t felt the need to access counselling as I think I have been able to use what I’ve read and reflect on the feelings I have experienced. Best wishes xx
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Hello, NSP375.
So sorry for your loss, sounds like you are very isolated in your grief. I can relate to feeling like you have to be strong for others. For me it felt like a heavy weight I was carrying around that was invisible to the world. Talking to anyone can help, hopefully this forum will help. Have you contacted Cruse? Also where you work do you have a employee assistance programme? They are usually confidential and can be a great way to get some help. If not, the GP.
Take Care.