Nearly one year since sons death

My sons birthday is on June 2nd, he was born sleeping. Been a horrid year and now it’s fast approaching it feels like it was only yesterday. The anger and grief I feel is unreal. How do I get threw this??

Dear Strugglingdad of course you are feeling angry at this world. Life is cruel and so unfair. Why do we have to suffer like this? Anniversaries and birthdays are so particularly hard as we imagine what our child will miss out on and we feel cheated that they will not have the life they deserve. You have made it through this horrible year and the lead up to the Anniversary must be so painful but although a cliche it is one that holds true take one minute at a time one hour at a time and try and mark the occasion if that is what you feel like doing. I lost my son 5 months ago and I wake up in a panic almost every day and feel the crushing grief almost engulf me then I try and get on with the day with differing levels of success. Life carries on regardless and you think hold on my child has died how can everything just carry on as normal but time does not stop and we somehow find a way through. Just concentrate on the here and now and tell yourself you’re doing the best you can and that is all you can ask of yourself. Show yourself some kindness and do whatever you feel you want to do. Sending you love and wishing you a better tomorrow x

Dear Lauley, I’m very sorry for the loss of your son and that you have joined this awful club that no one ever wants to be in. I read your reply to struggling dad and I wanted to message you. You articulate so well how I feel most of the time m the awful waking up each day when reality dawn’s. The getting through the day as best we can. Life does carry on regardless and I often ask how can this be. I don’t look forward more than a day, I focus on each hour. But it’s not nice to think we might have to live years with this pain. My son died suddenly 11 months ago and I miss him so much. I actually think it’s harder now than in the immediate months after he died when I was in shock. But the harsh reality is we must keep going, somehow, we have no choice. Take care xx

I’m really hurting. No more to say. Nearly 1 year I’m killing.
Dunno what to do

Hello,. I’m really sorry for the pain you are feeling. It’s horrendous to have your child die before you and there are no easy answers to coping. The reality is your son’s birthday really won’t be much harder than every day you’ve got through this year. You think about him every day and you will that day to. But no matter how hard it is it only lasts 24 hrs. And it won’t be as hard as the day he died. My son died 11 mths ago and he is in my thoughts every hour of every day. But we have to keep going, we have no choice. A councillor told me we have to fight to survive from here on. It won’t just happen. We have to decide that no matter how hard it gets we will fight to keep going. I wish you strength to cope x

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Thank you all for the kind words. Sorry for the short replies just no words to sum up my feelings.

Hi I thought i’d Just check in on you as today was a day you were dreading. I hope the day was a little easier than you’d expected although still very hard of course. Every day is a challenge isn’t it? There are a lot of us here who have experienced the crippling grief and immense pain that comes from losing a child although I wish that was not the case. Really hoping and wishing for lighter moments and better days in the future for us all even though it feels an impossible dream at times. We just have to keep going. Take care xx

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Dear Orchard yes the pain is unbearable but knowing others are feeling the same can make the load a little lighter if only for a while to help us through this nightmare no one would wish to experience even for a second. You are a little further on than me and I don’t imagine it gets much easier so sending you all the hope and warm wishes to see you through another night and that you wake up tomorrow a little less fearful than today. Xx

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Firstly sorry for the late reply.
I read this on the day and was really big comfort to know people cared. Thank you.
I’m getting by trying my best but it brought it all back to me. Sometimes feel like going round in circles. I’ve changed so much. Pain and grief have destroyed the old me. But I will build my life back up and plod on.
Life throws you a curve ball just gotta keep at it. No one can take memories.
Sorry for rambling lol.
But thanks again.
Stephen

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