Im speaking on behalf of my Mum.
My parents were married for 39 years, a few weeks ago now.
My dad suddenly passed away in June and im doing everything i can to help my mum. In the first few weeks she told everyone she feels lonely which was hard to hear.
She may still feel like this i bet. Its difficult knowing shes in the house herself now without dad
I live on my own too and i dont like the fact she lives on her own now - evertytime i talk about it she always says 'I need to learn to do this and that"
My mum has limited mobility but can still get around.
What else can i do for her that im not already doing?
I have a sibling but he lives in London. He comes up now and again and making more of an effort to come up now.
Are you able to stay with your mum for some weekends?
yes ive been there every weekend since and sometimes go round once during the week.
You’re a wonderful daughter for doing that. Maybe you can work out a schedule with your brother for him to stay with your mum on the days where you’re not? Or, would it be possible for your mum to stay with you a couple of days a week? It might be helpful for your mum to have a change of environment.
Hi @Annie2023 ,
No doubt the sad loss of your dad is tough, you mentioned your parents were married 39 years, that’s a long time to know someone, & be used to there company, to loose that connection, & feel so alone is no doubt heartbreaking, sending hugs of support to you & your mom. Such a big change is always a shock, especially when it’s the loss of someone your close to. My advice is to talk to your mom, you both have your own grief journey to go through, but she can probably give you a clearer indication of what she’s comfortable with, she may decide she needs time to take it all in, she may say that she feels uncomfortable on her own, she may say she misses having someone her own age to talk to, the best thing you can do for someone who’s grieving is listen to them, & support them, it sounds like your already doing that, & I’m sure she appreciates your there for her.
When my mom passed, I know one of the things my dad said, though he could talk to me, he missed having someone from his own generation to talk to, eventually he started going to an over 60s evening.
When you say you talk to her about living alone, & she says she needs to learn to do this & that, it sounds like she’s trying to be independent, but as you say she has limited mobility, I see why you are so concerned for her, again all I can suggest is talk to her about what she would be comfortable with.