Thanks Liz. I really want to get to the point where I can be happy at home. We were so happy here I would like to find some peace but at the moment I am just so very sad.
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Only six weeks. I really thought I would be able to bring him home but it wasnāt to be.
Oh @Woolly
That is no time at all.
I remember so well being 6 weeks in. Thats when we had the funeral. And I remember so well how I felt my grief was starting all over again after the funeral was over.
But now Iām much further on. 18 weeks.
I think it was about 3 weeks ago now that I suddenly realised that I was happy to be at home. At home. Our home. Now itās my safe space. I do go out a few times in the week but now my days at home no longer hurt. I hope you will come to this too.
I never thought Iād ever want to be here on my own, I really hated coming back to this empty house. But that all changed.
I still miss Roger terribly and I still cry, every day. Some more than others but Iām content to be at home.
I hope that helps x x
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Hiya Liz it helps to know that there is light somewhere down the line. Today as been a really tuff day. I am really struggling. Xxxx
Yes @jevncute
There is a light somewhere down this road
You will get there, step by step. It will come gradually. Youāll just realise one day that you are starting to cope.
I too have had a tough day today. I received a text for Roger making him a hospital appointment for 15th July.
Iām afraid I had a bit of a meltdown
Iām ok now just very sad.
Hang on in there, you will learn to cope
Love and hugs
Liz x x
Oh what a shock to receive that text Liz. Must have upset you. Thank you for your helpful post. I whole i come to feel more content at home like you.
Thsnkyou @Woolly
Thereās no way that I can tell you how to get there.
It just happened. I hope it happens to you too x x
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I am really hoping so, there is so many painful memories 
I hope one day in the not too distant future we all get the sense of peace and well being. But tlalking for today that doesnt seem possible. Xxx
Omg i am really struggling today cant get motivated into anything i just keep getting panic attacks xxx
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I felt just like that earlier this morning. I eventually went and sat on the bench in the garden with a cup of coffee. It calmed me down. Just breathing deeply and looking at the garden, I think.
Hope you feel better soon. Xx
Itās very early days for you and so hard to get motivated to do anything just be kind to yourself and do what you can.Itās thirteenth months for me and still struggling with motivation.This morning I set myself three tasks I really needed to do and told myself I would feel better when I had done them well I did them and yes I do feel better for doing them.Itās one step at a time.
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Omg why does it have to be so painful. I know they say its the cost of loving someone. But omg i have never felt this bad before it doesnt help i am all alone . Xxx
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Itās the worst time of my life too I donāt have any immediate family either although I do have second cousins who help me as much as possible one phones me every morning but I donāt like asking for help.I also have very supportive friends but nobody can take away the pain of losing him.
Hiya Lyn I am really sorry your alone too that emptiness and lonliness is totally unbearable isnt it. I want to be anywhere but in this place they call Grief . Cccc
Iāve got friends and family too and they are wonderful but the second they are out of the door Iām sobbing. Just want my beloved back so much. Never imagined it would be as bad as this
Nor me darling its the worst pain in the world the empty feeling those tears you think will never stop. The lonilness is unbearable but i have been told its normal. Heres hoping they are right. Xxx