Hello. I sound feeble but atm moment just 17 days in, I’m relying on family and close friends to stay the night with me. I am being very honest and admitting I’m not sure when I can do it. I’m 68 on Thursday and I’ve never been alone at night more than probably 6 times. Now I can’t do it and the feeling of permanence is overwhelming that I have to do it.
Is anyone else like me ?
Hello @Copenhagen1,
I’m so sorry about your husband. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” - I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts.
@Copenhagen1
You are definitely not being feeble! It is really early in this for you, you are still in shock.
I think if you read around on here you’ll see that most of us suffer from anxiety a lot more than we are used to. The future feels so overwhelming. I found the only way I could deal with it is to avoid looking ahead too far. Just take each day at a time and rebuild your self confidence with little achievements that are easier for you. Make sure you give yourself credit for them and talk about them with other people.
We all have different things we can’t face yet. Initially I struggled a lot with leaving the house, my safe place.
It is great that you have people who can stay with you. It might be good to try and see your doctor and get medication for anxiety. It won’t fix it but it may help numb it a bit.
Try and manage it so you say have one night on your own but will have someone turn up in the morning to see you. Arrange someone you could call in an emergency. Small steps and enablers.
Many of us don’t sleep. I watch TV in the night sometimes. So often you might get a reply on here in the middle of the night!
Take care and don’t be hard on yourself you’ve been through a huge life changing trauma.
Thank you for your support x
Hi. So sorry for your loss. There are so many huge adjustments to make and accept. I am able to “sleep” alone (but like most people on here currently dont sleep). I find comfort in having his favourite jumper close to me. Like a comfort blanket. In time, i hope for us all , things will ease. Many of us talk to our partners, we are not going mad! Do what feels right for you. X
Thank you x
I’m really struggling to sleep and also to eat. Food just doesn’t seem as good as it used to be. But most of all I miss hugging the person I loved more than my life. I suppose I am lucky in that I had it so good for a while but I don’t feel very lucky
I absolutely feel your pain. I miss my hubby so very much and have no idea what my future holds. Just know it’s without my love and my best friend
I can’t write much as so exhausted, but just know you are not alone. Bring on your own at night after years of being together is scary , the nights are endless.
Just try and focus on one nice thing for the next day, that’s what I do. I listen to audio books through the night and that helps me doze. Thinking of you all x
Thank you so much for your words of advice