Dear Caroline2
I am so sorry that you are having to face and make such decisions due to the family’s lack of respect for you and Allan. I do hope that they get in touch and you are able to attend. If not I hope that you are able to find some other way to pay your respects and remember him. Take care.
Thank you Sheila I just talked with the funeral director, he is to be cremated in Derby, on feb9 with no service and no family attending where Allan lived in a small village outside Durham everyone loved him and a friend of his has a dad who is dean at York and said he wanted to do a service but after all this the family have taken over and just cremation no service and no attendance. I will be able to have flowers delivered and I can go there and be in the garden this is so sad
It’s so sad when families do this
I did everything to try and find them, I wanted them to know before a funeral, at least I know where and when and I cen send flowers and then be there by myself in the crematorium garden and think and pray for him 
Remember that you are not alone
Thank you and also at least I know when and where and I can ask his friends dad to pray for him at that time and I can get a card signed by all his neighbours who loved him and send it up to the funeral people I can arrange flowers and I can be there in the garden and just be peaceful and quiet for him
In your mind and heart your doing right by him take comfort from this
Everyone on this site is praying 
for him and you stay safe
Thank you so much Abbysdad I feel at peace with it now
Your not doing anything wrong remember that stay strong I tried to do the right by everyone and no one talks to me from my wife’s family but that’s thier loss not everyone on this site stands with you
Hiya misprint nobody ever will replace my john love of life married 44years together 46 years there is nobody who coud replace I’m his wife forever lv annie x x
Same here thats how I feel
It will be our 40th wedding anniversary in March. There was and continues to be only one person who I wanted to spend my life with. Take care all xxxxx
Would have been our 25th next year I feel I still want to celebrate it cause I still feel married to him although he’s not here is that allowed by law
Dear Misprint
I ignore what the law says to be honest. Society still wants to label us with the ‘W’ word yet things have progressed with regard to gender etc. I take the same approach that me and husband did when completing forms regarding our son when he was young and is visually impaired. The question asked was did he/we consider him to be disabled and we always ticked ‘NO’ as his vision problems never stopped him doing what he wanted to. Therefore when asked I always reply married because in my opinion I still consider myself married. If you want to celebrate then that’s what you should do.
Thanks Sheila I will celebrate it and go up cemetery and toast our marriage . I was asked the other day what my married status was and I said I did not want to answer that question I hate that W word.
Dear Misprint
Yes, do what makes you feel close to your husband on the day.
This time last year I still had both our cars and needed to renew the insurance. Both companies knew my status as I had informed them of my husband’s death. One company told me that I could not identify as married whilst the other showed more empathy. I just will not use the ‘W’ word.
Take care. xxxx
If you need to talk about any thing we’re all here for you day or night give me a shout
Sheila I’m still married don’t care what anybody says john was and will always be my husband lv annie x
Totally agree with you Annie. I’ll always be married to Ian. He’ll always be my husband. I’ll never remove my wedding ring. I’ll be proud to wear it forever.
Janey xx