Dad died in hospital. He should have been referred to a hospice and near the end, we asked, but no one would do it because of “procedures”. No one would make a decision. But that’s another story…
Is there any specialist support for families whose loved one did not get the chance to go to a hospice, or have proper end of life care?
Since Dad died, the universe has seen fit to bombard me with articles and documentaries and stories and fund raising messages about how wonderful hospice care is, and how beneficial it is to the bereaved in the months and years afterwards. And it all makes me realise how damaged we are, how much we’re suffering and how unfair and desperate and tragic my Dad’s death was, compared to what it could have been.
Through these articles I’ve learned that one in every three terminal patients do not get proper end of life care. One third of everyone and their families! So surely there must be therapists, organisations, groups out there who are specialising in this. There are certainly enough candidates for their services!
We need help, and all we’ve been offered is “bereavement cafes” or zoom sessions or other useless stuff. We needed to be part of the end of life system, and the ongoing support, and now that we are locked out of that we need something that helps us deal with it. I don’t know what I’m asking for. I want a time machine. I suspect nothing less will do.
