New here, how do you cope with the actual death

Hi. My wife of 20yrs has fallen to Covid today i have been asked to gather the family to say our goodbyes.
They have askef me to go in and be with her as they end ventilation.
Im really good , no tears. Thinking of all the practical things i need to do. This has been coming for days and i know what i need to do. Everythings in place to sort the funeral and estate. Why because thats me, i need everything in order.

Then real life kicks in again and i just sob & sob.
I feel so guilty that my sorting head is on but i know i need to do these things.
Im fully aware of me using it to mask real life.

How do i go and hold her? How do you get through that?
I currently cant bear the thought of the funeral.
I just cry and cry.
I need to know i will somehow carry on.

So sorry you are going through this as hard as it is going to be tell her how much you love her hold her.
My husband died of cancer was on end of life and brought him home. The family all spoke to him held his hand. Every one is different I ended up falling apart he was the one who said to me you will be ok. We talked about our life together I thanked him for all our life together. I just kept on telling him I loved him.
Some how you do it it does not seem real at the time.
I think we go through all the motions in our head to get everything sorted. Please take care of yourself as well it hits home with a vengeance.
I hope you have support today and wishing you did not have to go through this.


Hello Daz. I am so sorry to hear of your Wife’s illness, I can’t imagine how you are feeling today, but I am so pleased you have posted on the community, where you will find support and friendship.
Please know we are here for you, if you feel you need a little extra support in the coming weeks, then please consider that Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:

Our thoughts are with you today.

Take care,
Online Community Team

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Iam so sorry for your loss. Those very early days after losing someone are very difficult.

It is 4 week to the day I lost my Paul. The first week it was hard to eat or even function. I hope you have enough people around you.

Paul’s funeral is Tuesday. I needed the month to feel able again as a person (have 2 children).

I hope you are able to take the time to let things sink in at your own pace, and be kind to yourself.

Merrin x

Daz thinking of you.
Merrin will be thinking of you especially for Tuesday
Keep doing what you have to do to survive this agony x

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