New member saying hi…

Hi everyone!

Just starting out here and wanted to say hi.
Hope you all have a peaceful evening
Brian P

1 Like

Hi Brian I have recently joined this site to, i was recommended it by Cruse and it helps a lot. I lost my son 12 weeks ago and I have spent hours reading other people’s posts and it’s good to know others have the same thoughts and feelings as I do. When ever I am feeling I can’t take it anymore I can always come here and find support. Hope you do to .


Hi Brian, it is of course very sad that you and everyone that comes here is because of grief, but you’ve definitely come to a great community of lovely people that reach out to each other and makes them dark days that little bit brighter…
So get posting and I hope you find some form of comfort with people’s comments.

1 Like

thank you Jss.
I was with Cruse in the early days and found it very good.
I cannot imagine what you are going through losing a Son…

I wish you strength to carry on and hope for the future.

Hi Lostinlimbo,

thank you for responding. It makes each day easier when we have personal interaction of some kind.
As much as I like my own space and company I crave the company of others now and again.
The balance is… well it’s still in the balance…

1 Like

Hi Brian yes I agree, and on here you know people understand what you are going through and you can say what you feel . It can be difficult with friends sometimes even though we know they want to help. We don’t want to burden them with our pain. Thank you for your kind comments.

1 Like

Hi Jss, two msgs and I feel I have made a new friend… the power of communication eh?
I have been thro’ a few stages of grief and felt the very depths of despair and the joy of being noticed… a day can change with just a little act of kindness or cruelty.
Forums have allowed me to support others, share my carers knowledge and even a platform to vent my spleen!
I find even telling family you are in pain does not always evoke a supportive response. You go from the person who solved everything to a person who is just another problem…
I guess I have to learn to live alone but as someone once said … ’ do not go quietly into the night…’

1 Like

Hi Brian

I’m also new to this group. But am already 13 months into this hideous journey. Stay safe and well.

1 Like

Hi Lauralou,
Welcome to this little community. I am sorryc for the loss of your husband, I am 14 months in since my husband’s sudden death and I can safely say it is sheer hell on earth. I adored him.
I suspect that, like me, your husband was your life and I am finding it almost impossible to enjoy anything without him. My daughters, their husbands and my fabulous grandchildren keep me alive, literally. Without them ………….
I think that we can just plod on as best we can. I am finding comfort and help on here, and I hope you will do the same.
I never feel like accepting my family’s invitations to lunch, dinner or an outing, but find that, when I get there, I always enjoy it.
I am writing a record of my life with Tony (I have always kept diaries) and I find that helps. It is only for my own enjoyment, not for publication. Sometimes, something I read in the diaries actually makes me laugh and I realise that I was so lucky to have him for all those years and I just hope I can live the rest of my life on the foundation he built for me. He was a star!

Hi AnnR
I’m sorry for your loss. Your husband sounds like he was a lovely man. You must have some very happy memories.
I’m on the same journey. My wife passed away 4 months ago and I am struggling more each day. I am numb and constantly in tears. I spent a nice day today with two of my three daughters, the trouble is that when the days over I’m back home alone and typing through tears.
We’re all going through the pain of grief that nobody understands unless they have experienced it. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
The only thing that makes me happy is the thought that I will be with her again sometime in the future.
I hope the pain gets easier and we all find some peace.

1 Like

Hi Gary,
Thank you for responding. I am so sorry that you are in the same boat. I have, of course, seen your posts here before and always read them.
Is it worse for men when a wife dies, or do women feel it more? My husband and I talked about this once or twice but didn’t really reach a conclusion. I think, had it been me who died, he would have been a bit like I am now, carrying on for the family and trying to get on with whatever life is left.
Do keep posting Gary, I think being on here helps a little, even if it only proves that we are not going mad, even though it might seem that way sometimes.

Hi Brian, I’m sorry for your loss, battling against grief every day as well as trying to keep busy is exhausting. I noticed that you are from the North East. I joined a day out to York yesterday with a widows/ers group called embark2 and next Week, meeting up for coffee in Durham.

Hi Ann.
I think the grief is probably the same for men and women. I feel guilty that it was my wife and not me. I think she would have coped better than me. She was the happy positive driving force in our family.
Reading the comments on this site does help me when I’m feeling down, which is most of the time at the moment.
Take care

1 Like