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Hi all. I’m biting the bullet and putting my thoughts into words. I can’t believe it’s nearly 2yrs since my Dad passed away, and I’m still unable to really “Let loose” the tsunami of my feelings.
My Dad died quite quickly, but, unexpectedly. Few weeks before Christmas 2019 from Liver failure and several other things combined. Myself and my girls were with him but we were unable to verbally tell him goodbye…he wasn’t conscious (he would’ve wanted it that way) and I knew that he stipulated D.N.R. if it came down to that. Sorry, I’m waffling on here, not sure what to say to you all. I’m never very good at talking about my feelings I guess, but I need help. Since my Dad died of course we’ve entered into a whole new world… with the pandemic with not being allowed social interaction (close contact with my daughters or grandkids) I have M.S multiple sclerosis so I was/am in the at risk category. I even went as far as breaking my right femur to get out off the house! Honestly, that happened a few days after my partner’s birthday May 2020… Still waiting on a further operation to get me walking again. Ya see I’m in a fog, Struggling to get to a patch of clear road. Somewhere that I can scream at the top off my lungs… grieve for my Dad… cry till I feel like I can’t cry anymore…

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Hi JoJo, I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your Dad, it’s bad enough when everything else in the world is ‘normal’ but what a nightmare going through the pandemic as well, especially as you were shielding, although I do think you took it a bit far breaking your femur to get a change of scenery! I lost my Dad suddenly as well, fine one minute then a massive Heart attack and that was it he had gone, it was wonderful for him but horrendous for me, it’s the shock which was the worst thing, I’ve no siblings so nobody who really understood how I was feeling, it has taken a long time but I can now remember the good times, what I’m saying is everybody’s journey through grief is different, you need to do what you feel comfortable doing, take a day at a time, if you feel like crying all day, that’s fine, tomorrow hopefully will be a better day, sending love Jude xx

Hi Jude,
Thanks for your kind words. Sorry about your Dad too, it’s such a shock when least expecting it. I’m also an only child, so like you I’ve nobody to share this journey with. My Mum is still alive and like myself she’s shielding because she’s in the same boat as me. But, unlike me she’s taken to seeking out other men… least said about that the better I think. Once again thank you so very much for your kind response.
Jo xx