I am going to post on here and will be my last post as honestly havent had much support at all. My husband died in July after a traumatic accident and his actually illness wasnt diagnosed until it was too late he died from sepsis which they missed. They carried out an investigation the result I dont want to know as it would bring it all flooding back. Maybe I dont fit in with what is expected but I have tried to carry on with my life as the best I can. I have terrible days when I scream and shout, I feel incredible guilty for any moan I ever had. However I have to carry on I have to get up in a morning and face a new day which I do. I am luckily I was left financially sound another post I was picked up on as being good for you but we haven`t Anyway I wish you all the best
I am so sorry you have felt unsupported. I lost my husband 21 months ago and he left me provided for so I was lucky I didn’t have to work and go through all the pain that our grief brings. We are all on the same journey. I have good days and bad days. The grief comes in waves and there are days when all I can do is cry but that’s okay. I have learned that each day is different and some days it’s hour by hour. I tell myself tomorrow is another day. What I have managed to do today is enough. It has to be as it is all I have. Sending you a hug x
Heather56
Please give the group a chance as i am new to it and i am not great with now things husband and I worked at things together
Like you i lost husband with no warning but i know doctors caused it I haven’t done anything about it as it will not bring him back or help me
I have to work but it helps as gets me out and keeps me busy maybe look at voluntary work
Just remember several people on here, I will talk to you and everyone wants to help you
Heather that is just beyond awful.
My husband was too misdiagnosed and continued with with ongoing medical neglect. I’m so so sorry. Xx
Please don’t write everybody off. We do care X
@Heather56 - you feel really let down by this community and I am so sorry about that. You are grappling with seriously difficult and hard and it has only been a very short time since your husband died. You have every right to scream and shout and moan - you have been through so much and face yet more tough days. Please don’t feel guilty, just focus on getting through these days and be kind to yourself. I send you love and all best wishes for everything.
Hi yes I have done all that as well,I scream and shout to her to come back to me ever since she was taken by cancer.Our lives will never be the same ,it is so cruel to be behind.My darling Judith did not get the right treatment due to guess what COVID. The National Covid service took over from everything else. Michael x
Hi @Heather56 ,
I’m really sorry that you haven’t felt supported on the community. I hope you are feeling more supported by the responses that you’ve received on this thread.
I completely understand that people need different forms of support, so the community won’t be right for everyone. Perhaps you might find some different support more helpful? If so, please do take a look at these other Sue Ryder services:
- Online Bereavement Counselling Service which a free service where you can talk to a professional counsellor via video chat.
- Grief Guide which provides articles and interactive tools to help you cope with grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
Some people also prefer in-person support to online support. AtALoss lists what kind of support is available in your area. You can explore local support on their website.
Best wishes,
Seaneen
I’m so sorry you don’t seem to have had the support you were hoping for. I have tried to check as many posts as I possible since I joined but I don’t find the interface very easy. Sometimes I realise I have missed a topic completely for many days.
I do hope you will stay around a bit more and see how it goes.
Sending love whichever you decide to do.
xxx
Thank you everyone it shook me when I posted something and it was sort of well good for you . It doesnt matter our circumstances we are all in the same boat we have lost the person we loved. We all cope with it differently in our way not my way or your way. It is reassuring that some of the things I feel others do as well I will stay and sorry
Heather
So brave of you to be so honest.
I wish I could say something of help or to reassure.
I’m so pleased you are going to stick with us. I find that at least here people don’t mind how long we have been without our loved ones and still finding it so hard, or how often we want to talk about them. Sometimes in real life, unless someone has suffered a similar loss they don’t ‘get it.’ I know I didn’t until losing my beloved husband.
Glad you are going to stay. There is no need for sorry. If ever you need a chat you can private message or we can all chat here and support each other. It is a long heartbreaking journey that we all share Sending hugs x
Hi all this Michael and I am having a real bad day,been thinking about Judith more than usual and it has made me cry loads and shout out for her to come back to me.I just cannot imagine how I am going to carry on like this for however much time I have left.It is too painful living without her after so long together.I have bad days and then I have really bad days.The loneliness is getting unbearable.I know that it is winter .I hate being a widower ,hate it more each day.I miss her company ,her love,her warmth,her smile and most of all I just miss her.I am 78 in March so how much longer have I got to suffer this hell.I now know why some couples choose to go together.The one left behind has no life.I said to my Daughter that I should have gone first but she said that then Mum would have been on her own.I do not understand things anymore,the way of things confuses me. Much love Michael xx
hello @Mickeyboy31 - I am so sorry you are having a tough day. Grief after a lifetime of love is brutal, I know. You know what, it is so hard sometimes that it helps to get some help. The weight is too heavy to carry on your own, my friend. Grief counselling is helping me and your GP could help if you get in touch and let them know you are feeling really low. Grief is something without logic or mercy, it seems - it works on us in ways I don’t understand either. Please don’t suffer like this on your own. Sue Ryder offers other forms of support and check out local resources to you at The Good Grief Trust. Try for a moment to think what Judith would suggest to you - what would her advice be? Try and hear her voice, my friend - something tells me that she would say something similar about getting some advice and support. Go well, be gentle on yourself. Your friends on this site are here for you.
Michael
I’m so glad you were able to put some of your feelings into words.
This is just the most horrendous time.
Some days I just seem to cry all day.
Everything feels so surreal. I feel like my husband was in my imagination.
Life will never be the same.
I joined a grief counseling group it was six weeks but have made good friends and it really helps to talk. Even just to know that your feelings and fears are valid.
I hope this painful day goes quickly for you.
Be kind to yourself and do what ever you feel you need to do to cope.
Sending you all loving thoughts
That is such a lovely message,your words brought tears to my eyes.I would like to return my loving thoughts to you as well. Michael x
Oh my such a lovely kind message,your words so inspiring. It is so nice to know so many people care about us on here.Forever grateful. Michael x
I really hope you get a decent sleep tonight and tomorrow will be an easier day for you.
Well done Michael you survived it. Your wife would be so so proud I’m sure.
I don’t know if helpful my only grace in this is, that a least my poor husband didn’t have to suffer this terrible grief x
I am so sorry for this my husbands death was so traumatic I can`t even let myself think about it. Sleeping is a bit of a challenge I have found no caffeine after 3.00pm helps as no booze. I think the thing is is we all feel is a good nights sleep
@Mickeyboy31
We have no control over when our brains decide to overthink. Mine decided last night was a good time to revisit the night my Richard died. Consequently tears and not much sleep. That’s 8 1/2 months after he died so why did my brain need to go over it yet again?
I hope you will all get enough peace in your hearts to sleep.
Love to all suffering.
Karen xxx