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Hi guys, I lost my dad in march this year after he was diagnosed with atrial myoxma last November, we were with him throughout his illness and when he died. My mum wasn’t coping very well after dad’s death and was desperately unhappy. I was trying my best to support her and then on the 8 Sept she died, as it was a sudden death the police had to attend and the coroner had to do a post mortem. The results were that she died of natural causes but I just can’t get my head round it. They’ve both gone in less than 6 months. I just feel numb and I feel that if I started crying I’d never stop. My family are very supportive but I just feel I can’t get upset in front of them, does anyone else feel like this?

Hi Stella

Wow how incredibly sad that you lost both parents in such a short space of time. I genuinely believe that people can die of a “broken heart” at least your parents are reunited now but I know that doesn’t bring much comfort to you.

I feel the same, I rarely cry especially in front of family. My dad died when I was young and my mum recently, 6 months ago very suddenly. Everyone keeps telling me how brave and strong I am to have lost both parents, but it’s not true lol I just don’t feel like I can express my emotions in front of them.

Do you think counselling will help you? Then you could talk to someone freely and openly? It’s not for me personally, but I have seen Lots of positive comments on here about how good it has been etc

Hi Stella, so sorry for your loss, you’ll still be in shock & disbelief. My Dad died 8yrs ago & my Mum never got over it. 4yrs later my Mum had a massive stroke which completely changed her. I looked after her & last year after 8 months in hospital, she died in December, thankfully at home but only a week after leaving hospital. I know the circumstances are different to yours but I understand what you are going through. Losing both parents just rips your life apart & you know you’ll never be the same again. Be gentle & kind to yourself, you’ve been through a traumatic time. Sending a big hug, I only joined this forum yesterday & I’ve already had some comfort from it. Xx

Hi Tasha, thank you for your reply. I’m not sure about counselling at the moment, maybe in the future, trouble is there is such a long waiting time. I’m sorry that you have also lost both parents. Life can be so rubbish sometimes x

Hi Mojo, thank you for your reply. In a funny way it does help to know that other people feel like I do. I’m really sorry to read about your mum, I think once both of them have gone u do feel very adrift, I feel like I’m in a rowing boat with no oars.
Thank you for the big hug, it’s appreciated and nice to talk with people who know exactly how you feel.
Stella x

Oh Stella. My heart goes out to you. To lose your parents in such a short space of time. You hadn’t even come to terms with your dads death to lose your mum. I have just lost my mum. If my dad died too In the next 4 months I would be just completely and broken I don’t know how I would cope. The pain is intense enough. I also get the not being able to get your head round a death. My mum died of a cancer we never knew she had. It’s never going to be clear to me what happened. And I will never have
Closure over it. Thinking of you. And yes I know how you feel. Half of me is gone. You have that double blow.

Hi stella,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum and dad this year. You must be in unimaginable pain.
I lost my mum 4 months ago to a sudden stroke and I am in such turmoil.i feel guilt, despair, disbelief but most of all i miss her so so much.
I lost my dad to a sudden heart attack 21 years ago and although i am fortunate that there was a gap between the two deaths the pain is still as intense as if it was yesterday.
My friend however has been through the same as you. Her dad had heart failure in the august and her mum collapsed and died in the February.
All you can do is take one day at a time and scream, cry and grieve as much as you want.
Coming to this site helps at all, everyone understands and is suffering from loss x

Thank you for your message. There are so many people in a similar position, I honestly don’t know how we all go on with life sometimes. I’m finding it all very difficult and feel very alone although I have a loving family. All I want to do is give my mum a call and have a chat.

I know. There is a mum shaped hole in everything I do.
Look after yourself x

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