You make me smile Jobar. You have a wonderful way with words. Thank you. My head is now so big, I’ve just got it wedged in the conservatory doorway. 
Yes, the tee shirt is most ‘unenviable’. Unfortunately, there are many of us wearing it and too many of you currently earning it. Take care my lovely 
4 Likes
Hi. Just come across a photo of John from the back, he’s walking up a lane in front of one of my daughters holding on to a grandaughters hand, he’s looking very smart in his suit and her in her lovely flower girl dress. This was after a wedding last october. But it was seeing his lovely squashy looking old ears, how could i have forgotten them ! Had a little cry to start with but now cant stop smiling thinking about them, silly i know. But have put it on my phone as a little treat for when i turn it on. x
3 Likes
Oh how lovely, sometimes I can look at photos and other times I can’t, did think of putting Tim on my phone screen, but it’ll probably set me off constantly. Glad it’s making you smile x
2 Likes
I have Mick in my phone screen with a big smile it’s hard when I open my phone but beautiful I suppose we grieve in different ways I spent days in my loft getting old photos out putting then in albums x I got so upset and had to stop xx
2 Likes
That was lovely reading this, it gives you hope there will be a time in the future when this terrible heartbreak will heal. I also love your description of you husband’s face. That’s exactly how I feel when I see Rick, he was my gorgeous husband and I give his photos a wee kiss. He was so full of life & fun I can’t understand how that can just go. XxX
3 Likes
All our lovely men. So loved 
. So full of life and with so much living still to do. How can we not feel robbed?
6 Likes
Hi. It’s the memories I am frightened I forget. I have spent hours trawling through phots trying to piece together a diary of the last 11years. Where we went , concerts, weekends etc. I panic I might have forgotten something. It might sound strange but I feel compelled to do this. Maybe somebody else has done it I don’t know???
My sister said I should put all the photographs on the wall and around away as “it’s upsetting you”. I don’t want to put them away I want to look at our wedding picture of only 3yrs and cry or smile depending on whether it’s a good day or a bad one.
I have spent days sorting our old photos from when we met 35 years ago buying albums to put them in. I have photos around my house yes it’s upsetting but need to see him do what is right for you xx
1 Like
I have got photos on the wall, I can stare at them for ages but on a very low day , I can’t look at them,
It’s pathetic x
1 Like
Not pathetic at all I go to use my phone and Micks on there smiling at me I get angry and ask him why then close the phone xx
1 Like
Hi Kim. Yep I have Bill staring at me when I open my phone as well. Sometimes nice and I kiss him and sometimes I can’t look at him. Going to make an album too.
1 Like
I’ve been in this position twice in ten years losing both husbands to cancer, caring for them both until the end. I was with them both when they dies. My second husband was an old friend of both of us who moved away and lost his wife . We always kept in contact all being friends since teenagers. I never thought I would ever find or want love again, but We were so very happy. My second husband had a battle with cancer of the oesophagi she which he seemed to be getting over very well until his hip ached and after a while we were told cells had gone to his hip muscle then started eating into his bone. I lost him last November and I miss him so very much. We were together nearly 8 years and decided to get married nearly 3 years ago, never imagining what was round the corner. I was married 46 years to my first husband. I feel cheated losing my wonderful husband, I know it sounds selfish but we got on so well and we’re true friends. I joined some groups and a short mat bowls group all of which were really helping, but this awful virus has set me back. I do have good family and friends who keep in touch and our dog to take walkies. I know it will get easier in time, but it really is a rollercoaster of emotions. Some days much better than others. I try to keep occupied, enjoy what you can when you can, including tasty treats.