New to this site It's been 3 months

Losing a partner
1

I lost my husband of 30 years to cancer 3 months ago. I put on a brave front. I am very isolated with only 1 good friend. I don’t burden her because she has problems of her own. Depression is my biggest enemy, alternating with anxiety. I just feel paralyzed and unable to do even the simplest tasks. Any advice or words of encouragement for only being 3 months in will be greatly appreciated.

2 Likes
2

So sorry you are in the club no-one wants to be in,my wife of 55yrs passed in April,the good people on this forum have really helped me try and get through,although I can’t offer much advice it’s just one step at a time.
Take care Ron.

1 Like
3

I’m so sorry. I completely understand how you feel. My husband passed 2 weeks ago. We moved to Florida a couple of years ago and I have not made any close friends here. We had no children and I’m an only child. Sometimes I wish the support group I used to have in North Carolina was closer. Other times I’m glad to be alone so I don’t have to make small talk with people.
One thing that gives me the a tiny bit of relief is knowing that my dear husband is no longer in the terrible pain he had.

4

Thanks for responding. I am so sorry for your loss. I feel if I had more social interaction it would help, but I agree with you that being alone bypasses the small talk. I worked with a grief counselor via phone, which was helpful. Now I’m on my own. It’s so hard to go through this without a good support base. I’m hoping this site will help.

1 Like
5

I get anxious and depressed as well and some days paralysed too.
I had a six session course of CBT with talking therapies. It wasn’t really long enough to really bed it in really.
But while it was going on I had to do these exercises. Filling in diary sheets and noticing how I felt. Goal setting. It helped me to do some things. But it wasn’t just after I was widowed. I waited a year.
One lady advised me to make lists and tick off two things every day. I do think that helps a bit.
I had various free six session counselling sessions. I am not sure what difference it made looking back. But my son noticed I was less anxious when I was doing it.