New to this site

Woke up crying tonight. Its a year next week since I lost two very close friends within a day of each other.

I havent really grieved until now. I just feel completely overwhelmed

Without knowing much about your circumstances, and those of your dear friends, a response is a bit difficult. However, it does seem that you have kept things bottled up for quite a while, either deliberately or as a subconscious reaction.
Keep reading the posts on the forum, and respond when and if you feel it may help you.
Just remember that all of us here are going through the agony of grief; we’re at different stages, we react in different ways, but we know what it is like, and we are with you.