I am a new widow since July 2023. Cant seem to fully accept the situation. Was married 43 yrs. Grief comes and goes. Lately still expect hubby to come in the door. How can i work through it?
7 Likes
I am so sorry . It is such a difficult time for you . Take each day as it comes . Everyone is here of you need support
2 Likes
July for me too. I too still expect him to come through the door but have come to know that is not going to happen. Learning to get through each day as best I can.
3 Likes
I remember those early days vividly and is still a help to hear how other people feel. Not alone so much then. So sorry to hear your loss.
3 Likes
Sorry Clare, 10 months for me, just one day at a time, even now i do not make any plans as i am never sure how i am going to feel, but I have now accepted his death, the pain is easier to cope with 10 months later, grief is like a wave we just have to ride it, and the lesson is how to x
3 Likes
I feel like that too. I can’t make decisions drives others crazy . My mum said she wanted to go away with us when my dad died so I booked it up then she said she didn’t twant to go and I had to go without her as couldn’t waste all the money. Now I get like it like she said I would when I was in her shoes
She just used to get an idea in her head so do I but I was dreading going on the booked up weekend my son backed out as he changed his mind and I lost all the money for his booking and went despite and it was better than expected.
But if I can I do often it turns out a mixture of lovely and difficulty. More folk try to make me I don’t want to go.
2 Likes
Same here married for 43 years. He died on 25th July. Only just had his funeral last monday. I keep seeing his photo and I just can’t accept that he’s gone and never coming home. It’s so hard living alone after so many years living as a family and then as a couple. I am just taking one day at a time and hoping that soon I will be able to accept what’s happened and come to terms with it. It feels like I’ve lost my safety net, he was always there for us all. Just miss the simple things watching tv listening to music together etc etc 
5 Likes
This is exactly how I feel - it seems like I am losing my mind as I know he is gone but why can’t I believe it. I wish you strength.
3 Likes
I was like this in the early days. Some days I still expect him to walk through the door.
1 Like
@ClareL - my friend, I am so sorry your beloved husband has died. It is all so new and recent for you, too. I remember those early weeks, and how I was drowning in grief, in confusion, in probate struggles and business problems. I, like you, wondered how in the world I would work through it, get through it, survive. It took getting up each morning. Getting showered, dressed and down those stairs. It took a to-do list, each day, sometimes with only one item on it and not always practical. It took time. But, 19 months on, I am faring better even if, like today, grief taps me on the shoulder and asks me for a word… You will work through and walk through it with your new friends on here who understand completely - and with your husband, held close in memory, in your heart. You will work through it, and your friends here are with you x
9 Likes
Thank you for saying in 19 months we will walk through it and I am only half way to that point and have I done half of it? No
I do not think I have but then so what if i haven’t? I just think some of us are slower and i am one of them. But today it was not as bad even if I never achieved much. I measured up the possible shower I want downstairs. I had a ready meal I had prep before and a salad, ate fruit, toast with nut butter and ordered an air fryer.
I danced round the room and sang all alone. Slobbed around also but no one to see. I thought it is too hot to worry anyway.
3 Likes
Im so sorry for your loss. My husband died july 31. Just trying to make sense of it all
3 Likes
So sorry for your loss. My husband died April this year. I still can’t accessor it. I have lots of support but I would do anything to have him here I loved him so so much from age 15 to 79 do grateful we were so close but now I am paying the price for that love. Only thing I’m grateful for was he went first because I would never wish this pain on him.
3 Likes
My husband passed away 22nd july. I just feel lonley. We had only moved to our new home in April so i am trying to adapt to life on my own in a new house, and deal with my grief as well.
2 Likes
i,m same i lost my wife in july 2023 too i was married for 19yrs i had not graved i can,t break down yet i have not come of lost of her
2 Likes
Yeh true words ! I was ok most of today and then tonight …
Could feel that wave of grief coming .
Jeez its a hard road …
1 Like
Yes like waves some different sizes
2 Likes
Yep different sizes and different times … things that set us off … never really know do you ? they just seem to sneak up behind you 
x
1 Like
I had a lovely day with my brother yesterday, got home and within 10 minutes the floodgates opened.
I am enrolling on a U3A class this morning, going with a friend so I’m hoping I don’t make a fool of myself. Will sit near the door!
2 Likes
What does U3A stand for ? Enjoy anyway … x
1 Like