My husband, Ian, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly nearly 29 weeks ago. I’m really struggling to come to terms with what has happened and yet have been greeted twice with:
‘Hope the new year is better than the last for you’
How on earth can people be so insensitive or is it just me?
Julie
It’s not just you @Trixie1. People don’t think, they just don’t think. Some four and a half years later and I still don’t do ‘Happy New Year.’ When people say it to me now, I just reply “Yea, peaceful and healthy will do.” x
Sorry for your loss I have had my husbands family even say the same no year will be better now will it life is just going to be empty and painful even though we can fill it with deferent things it will never be ok I am struggling badly also as we all are thought of a year alone is just unbearable for us people just do not realise let alone understand take care xx
I think it’s insensitive, I had a card saying have a fabulous Xmas knowing I’d lost my husband in august, it’s about sincerity of the greeting to the person you’re sending it too because then you would choose more carefully , I couldn’t send any cards myself and just about got through xx
Hi Rose
It was one of my sisters who actually said that to me and she knows how I’m still struggling.
As you say, we can fill our day with different things but they can never make up for the loneliness and heartbreak we feel. 28 weeks for me and getting worse not better.
X Julie
Hi
You’re so right, it is all about the sincerity of the greeting.
I also couldn’t send any greetings card.
Look after yourself
X Julie
I have two sisters one is great always there for me and so kind my other is taking advantage of my vulnerability and dragging up every wrong since fifty years ago so I don’t see her much I’d like to think she doesn’t mean to be unkind but I think she is just mean, I have found out who my real friends are and these are the people we need to surround ourselves with who make us feel comfortable and nurtured xx
I was the same did not send any cards cancelled Christmas except for the grandchildren can not imagine I will send any type card it’s hard to write it from just me just don’t know how I will get through the year people say it will get easier I just do not see it xx
Hi Rose
I also can’t see how it can get any easier. I am lost without Ian as he was my best friend as well as my husband of nearly 40 years. I miss him with all my heart and soul and just can’t imagine life without him, just an existence to be got through.
Take care of yourself,
X Julie
Hi
I also have two sisters. One is incredibly supportive and the other when it suits her. One day when I had to drive back to an empty house, she phoned me and I was in floods of tears etc and I told her how I wasn’t coping. She listened but I never heard from her for over a fortnight. She didn’t even ring that night to see if I had got home safely. She was off on holiday and so I was forgotten.
I know I should be more charitable but I can’t.
X Julie
It’s sort of being in limbo because there’s no motivation to move forward and it’s drifting through day to day with no real purpose, I find I’m an observer more than a participant and happy to be so as long as my life is peaceful and calm, I’m not interested in anything else
Hi I totally agree it is so hard to find any motivation my grown up son and daughter tell me that I need to live life they need me to be here feel
My life is just so awful with out my partners so very lonely just did not see it coming take care all hope you manage to sleep x
Hello
Just like you, I find myself just drifting through each day with no real purpose in life anymore. I’m not the person I used to be and welcome the night when sleep brings a welcome respite from everything that has happened.
I read on these sites about people moving forward and accepting new challenges but I don’t think I’m one of them. I just want to turn the clock back ……
Julie x
If only we could what I would give for that to happen I do not ever see me moving on guess just manage it around people then in heap when I’m alone in house x