Hello everyone, just wanted to hear how others are coping with going into this new year. I lost my Barbara almost five months ago, and had to visit her family in San Diego for two weeks during Christmas. As difficult as it was to be there, and feel that connection to her family without her with me was terrible. I did get through it with many tears, but couldn’t wait to get home. So here I am back home, and feeling worse than before leaving. I spent my new years eve with my mother which was nice, but still felt so sad I couldn’t be with my Barbara. So now, I feel like I’m really lost and the lonliness without her feels even worse. Is anyone out there feeling a similar feeling like they’ve stepped backwards? Maybe my thoughts before Christmas were better because I was so caught up in getting things ready, travelling, and spending time with her loving family. But now, its back to work next week, and finding it difficult to cope with this overwhelming loss and my future with being on my own.
So sorry for your loss. New year is just a new number now. Do you have family ?
Hi @Rob7 I also caught up with S’s family over the Christmas break, I hadn’t seen them for a few months. It felt good to have that connection, but very sad at the same time. I found myself looking at his brother and thinking that S should still be here, if only he had taken care of himself when he was younger; his brother looks like a healthy version if what S could have been like, given an easier lifestyle and someone to love him.
Nowadays I can only continue by looking forward to the next date in my diary, I need something to aim for.
Hopefully, in a couple of months when the weather starts to improve, we shall begin to heal a little bit more.
I have my mother and cousin that live nearby, and some good friends that I am grateful for. I also have our cat which helps fill the void somewhat, but this loss can feel so wrong at times that it just hurts. I can only hope that there will be a brighter future and my heart will heal. I know it won’t completely, but hoping more than this.
I’m so sorry for what you and many have also had to endure. Ii sm thankful that you took the time to connect, and hope you’re right about the upcoming months. Hopefully we will begin to feel less pain moving forward….
Hello Rob7, I lost Jacqui 3 months ago, I know the feeling of “worse than before” Christmas, I think its looking at a whole new year without her, I am completely overwhelmed at that prospect. Although she needed 24/7 care for her mobility issues, she guided my life, everything I did was for her, everything I did was to make her life as comfortable as possible, just feels like the my anchor to the world has gone, and I am just adrift through life now.
Hi Rob
I lost my beloved husband Roger on 23 September 2024. I have never experienced pain like this ever. I miss him so much. I am trying to take things on an hour by hour basis still. I cope sometimes and sometimes I don’t cope. That’s just how it is. Please reach out to family, friends and this community
I’m so sorry for your loss. I think you hit the nail on the head by saying that we’re not looking forward to the upcoming year. I totally agree as I think getting ready and prepared for the holidays kind of occupied our minds. Maybe we will just need to occupy ourselves with other things and hope this horrible emptiness will lessen over time. Try and take care of yourself and I will do the same. Rob
Hello Kate and thanks for your message. I am deeply sorry for your loss, and feel exactly how you do in all of this. This kind of suffering without our loved ones is simply just cruel. I miss my Barbara so very much and find myself breaking down every day. I hope you, myself, and others will find less grief during the next few months.
Hugs to you.
i get how you feel i lost my Diane back in October and i still feel numb. I cant still believe she has gone. I break down in tears every day, i still talk to her as if she was there, i ask her things. The world is a daunting place without her, i dont know what the future holds without her but its scary without her, she was my rock, my soulmate. Its so final isnt it, its an overwhelming feeling but i guess we are not alone in this. I heard something the other day about ‘living for her’, which sounded ok and thats what i am going to try to do, live for her as that is what she would want me to do, to get a life for myself
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
Your message is like I wrote it. So many of us feel the same way that it’s not unusual to have other peoples words sound alike. I found that writing to our lost loved ones has helped me. I write to Barbara about once or twice a week in a beautiful journal I bought just for this reason. Sometimes it feels odd to be writing to someone that isn’t physically here, but being a spiritual person and not religious, i feel that somehow someway she may be receiving the words I write. It is a great way of communicating with her. Otherwise the painful day to day struggle to cope remains there crushing my heart.
I hope that may help you. All my best for this new year.
Thank you Rob7, i have put together some picture albums which plots our times together over the years from when we met, our early days, our marriage, the births of our children, our holidays etc and have put them in chronological order, its was hard and painful but also gave me comfort. i try to say to myself that she was an angel sent here to do good and now she is needed back in heaven to do good there, thats the only way i can even try to understand why she has gone. Im so sorry for your loss also its painful.
January is such a sh*t month. My husband died twelve weeks ago, the day before the clocks changed and nights became longer. Christmas and New Year weren’t too bad because lots of my family came and the house was full, but this month has been awful – long, dark and grimy. It’s no wonder you’ve been feeling worse since Christmas.
Sorry for the late reply. I feel exactly the same way. Christmas was not quite as bad because there were more of us including family friends which filled the voud a bit, but yes, this month has been super difficult fighting through emotional grief, and just trying to keep working.
I wish you much love and strength in the upcoming months …
January is a s*** month. Too right