New Year

I have been without my husband for 5months I thought had been coping and thought was getting much better but have just had 3 awful days.
Missing Alan so much and crying again over Christmas was with my family and wasn’t upset at all. Now festivities is all over now real life is getting in the way miss my man so much and keep thinking can’t believe all of it. He is going to come back I know I’m only kidding myself it was all so upsetting.
I worry about my daughters too as they keep going for me and don’t want me upset

Dear @Ang1949

I am sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through. You are still grieving and you need to give your self time to grieve. Sadly there is no no quick fix to grief. It is ok to cry and be upset. This is normal and part of the grieving process. There will be good days and bad days.

Christmas is very hard as it does focus so much on family and this is the first one without your husband which makes it much harder.

There are topics on here to connect you with members who have experienced what you are going through. Have a look at Losing A Partner and Lost Husband. You are not alone.

Cruse Bereavement offer a helpline, email support and support groups through their local services.

http://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services if you would like to talk to someone or there is Shout which is 24/7 text messaging for anyone struggling to cope.

Take care of yourself.

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I’m at five months too and have had terrible meltdown since new year, emotionally it’s so exhausting and confusing, up and down, and I feel wretched and bereft that I’m here alone and think what do I do now ? Now it seems crazy and unbelievable that I’m in this situation but I am and I miss him so much, the grief is relentless xx

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It’s been 7 weeks since mam left me and I am totally destroyed. My family cannot understand why. They have moved on and think there is something wrong with me. I can’t understand why their whole world hasn’t collapsed like mine. I love mam so much I feel I cannot be without her. She left me behind and I didn’t tell her how precious she is to me, that she is everything and I feel so guilty for not seeing her everyday. The things I did which took up my time don’t have any significance now. I am living in a hole that was full of mam.

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Hi Christine, mums are very special people in our lives and when they are suddenly not there we feel that loss and it can be very painful. Don’t worry about what other people say, it’s how you feel that matters. Grief is an individual thing and that’s hard for some people to acknowledge. Take your time and don’t rush trying to keep others happy. She meant so much to you and that is what counts. It takes time for you to adjust to your new world without your mum. Small steps and you will get through this horrible time and you will be stronger. Look after yourself. S xx