New Year

Losing a parent
1

I was pondering on what to write for a new year’s post, something to do with being grateful for everything. Ending with a quote that I don’t even believe in. Stating that next year would be a new chapter, no matter how hard life gets.

But honestly, if I’m truly honest I’m surprised I even made it this far. And I can’t even think about entering a new year. No amount of mindfulness, or counselling is going to fix that, to fix me.

I want to be grateful for family and friends and life altogether, but how can I be grateful for people that aren’t around. I mean don’t get me wrong I have my people, but they don’t really know me. They don’t truly know about all the long nights I’ve been lonely or the thoughts that cross my head.

I want help I do, but no matter what I feel guilty, I never fully open up. My brain tells me there are people that are worse off, and that I should be grateful. I have a roof over my head and people that “care” about me, what else could I need?

So yes, I’m scared of what the new year will bring, what challenges may come my way. I’m dreading even thinking about it, if it’s anything like last year I don’t know what to do or how to get through another year. I don’t even know if I am going to upload this, I’ve never told anyone this before…

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Well done for sharing, Sarah. I hope that it helps. Personally, I’m not engaging with anything to do with new year. My friend invited me out for dinner on NYE and I said “Isn’t that a time for happy people?”. Another friend rang me earlier and asked my plans, and I honestly didn’t even know what day it all falls on. So, my advice is, don’t feel pressured to engage in something just because other people do. You focus on looking after yourself. :yellow_heart:

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I’m don’t celebrate New Year any more I used to go out a lot when I was younger but not since I had my children mum was always the first one to phone me new years eve not this year, I’m staying over with my dad and the kids we will see the new year in together my youngest daughter sometimes stayed with them on New year’s eve.

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