New Years Eve

Losing a partner
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I received a text from a friend on our group chat inviting us all round on New Years Eve. I just sat and cried. There are four other couples in the group and then there is just me as i lost my husband in February. We have all been friends for many years and have spent a lot of New Years together but i really dont feel i can be there on my own when they are all in couples, it is just so hard. I have so many memories of all the happy times but my life is so different now. I will also have to get through my first Christmas too. I am finding this time of the year very difficult and i feel so lonely

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Hi Anne18

I think it’s difficult whatever you decide to do. I had a similar situation and decided to go. It was very difficult but on reflection I was glad they included me. I think if they hadn’t invited me I would have felt abandoned and forgotten, so it’s a no win situation for everyone.
They were all very kind but seemed uneasy when I mentioned my partner. I was happy to talk about him but they seemed uncomfortable. We’ve been friends for a long time so in hindsight it was difficult for us all. My partner passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in April, so like you I have a lot of firsts to deal with and I’m not looking forward to Christmas.
Perhaps explain how difficult it is for you and ask if you can let them know nearer the time. Just decide and do what’s best for you. In honesty whether you go or stay at home I don’t think it’s going to be a great evening.
Sending a big hug xx

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i have never done new years eve even when hubby was here, we were lways in bed before 10pm. why celebrate the end of one rubbish year and start of another one

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I understand.

Sending a big hug xx

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We never really celebrated New Year’s Eve and this will be my first one without my wife.

Last New Year’s Eve, my wife gave me a hug and whispered “Dave, this year is going to be our year”.

I am not looking forward to New Year’s Eve at all. I’m dreading it.

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Dave4, I know how you are feeling, I am dreading Christmas and New year without Jacqui, she would make such a big thing about this time of year, presents and calls to family and friends. My elderly father would always raise a toast to a happy and healthy new year, I don’t want him to do it this year

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Last NYE, S and spent it at mine as he wasn’t feeling too good and we didn’t really want to go out anyway. When the fireworks went off I asked him if he was coming upstairs to watch them from the window; he made an excuse that he was comforting my dog. Looking back, I knew he didn’t have the energy to climb the stairs just to see fireworks. At midnight I said “Thank God, that 2023 is over”, as it had been a nightmare for various reasons. Little did I know that one month later he would be gone.

We don’t know what we should be celebrating. The end of this year, or the start of another one, bringing God knows what? I’m not getting excited about it.

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Hello @Anne18,

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. You may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Abi

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I’m so sorry SadGirlfriend. That’s a lot of sad memories.

You have summed up New Year’s Eve perfectly. It’s a time for looking back on the old year and for looking to the future. Right now, I don’t want to do either.

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I am so sorry for the loss of your husband, Annie18.

I understand how you feel. I find it really hard to be in the company of other couples. It’s a constant reminder of the unfairness of it all and the loneliness after losing a loved one.

I am sure they are trying to be kind by inviting you but I don’t think they understand how truly awful the grief process is or how long it goes on for. At the same time, they won’t want you to feel left out.

I couldn’t go. I would find it really hard to cope with my thoughts and emotions.

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I have never been a fan of New Years Eve xx

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Dave4 i think you are right. Unless you have been in the situation of losing a partner you just can’t understand what it feels like. I dont think i will go as it will be too upsetting and also the conversation is bound to cover Christmas which i won’t really want to talk about either. The firsts are the worst i am told. I have our wedding anniversary, Christmas, my 70th birthday in January and the anniversary of my husbands passing in February and this seems such a lot to get through.

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I’ve got all those to come too, Anne18.

I’m dreading every one of them.

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Very similar here x