New

Losing a partner
21

Hi Marie.
Im new here also. Big hugs you have made a step in the right direction :mending_heart:
Sarah

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Thanks Sarah, it is good to chat where everyone knows how it feels.

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So true its good to chat with people who know how ur feeling and give support… i lost my hubby on 25th July and finding everything so difficult and have just came across this site this evening and looks very good. Hope to chat again soon Marie…take care .
Sarah

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24

Hi Sarah, I lost my wife of 42 years on July 15th this year. It is still very raw, so many questions, emotions, fears, moments, heartbreak, pining, sadness, longing, and many, many more. What is moving on? How can I move on? Do I even what to move on? Just such a sad, sad time. Every thought has had to be thought through, if that makes sense

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25

Morning Sandstone I lost my husband 9 weeks today. The lonilness is horrendous the pain in my heart is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I only hope things will eventually get better. Some times i feel a bit stronger but days like today I am back at the beginning. Hugs Jo xx

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26

Hi Sandstone.
So sorry for your loss. :mending_heart:.
It is very hard. I’m the same cant / dont want to function, so heartbroken :broken_heart:.
Its good to talk to folk who are going thru the same as myself.
Its very emotional tho :cry:. I dont like to show my emotions to folk but i feel like i cant stop as the least thought or looking at something reminds me sets me off again, i have been trying to think or talk of the good times with hubby/ Dad with our 3 ( adult ) kids but as soon as i am by myself the floodgates open and feel so guilty, angry and worthless !..
take care .
Sarah x

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Hi Sarah, As I’m sure you appreciate men of a certain age aren’t supposed to show their emotions, I know that in this day and age that is being silly. Yesterday I was visiting Irene’s grave by myself and I was just totally overwhelmed by grief and sadness. My heart sank with despair and tears rolled down my face, so I had to sit down on a nearby bench. Sitting there wishing there was a template one could follow after the death of a loved one. But I suppose everyone’s journey will be different, some quicker than others but no less painful. I am luckier than some in that I have a loving family (much like yours I would image) and that we can see some special aspects of our beloved in each of them, so from that I take some comfort at this time. Hard times are ahead no doubt, but I think it only shows how deep our love was.

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Theres no age limit on Emotions Sandsider and dont ever let any1 ever tell you that grown men dont cry !. We are human and feel empathy some more than others. My hubby often cried the last year or so worrying about everything when he wasnt going to be here when he got older. I respected him and tried to console him the best i could and im sure Irene would have done the same to you. Its good you still have your family around you.
What has helped me the last few weeks since i lost Davie was thinking of the good times we had recently and in the past and chatting to my family and having a box of tissues nearby.
Take care Sarah

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Hi Sarah,
Men really do cry I have just had a big moment,
As many of you know I had to let my little girl go on Friday,
Since then I have just nibbled on stuff,
Today I thought I would have something a little sensible,
I always used to put a few extras on to give her after I finished,veg and such,
I then realised she is no longer here,together with grieving for my wife,
I just fell apart and cried buckets.

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30

Hi Ron.
I know real men do cry i had seen if often enough good on you for getting it out…i am so sorry for your losses. I have only joined this group last night and already i feel comfortable chatting to folk and knowing theres others around going through the same as myself .
Take care
Sarah

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31

I lost my husband, Andy, on 15th July as well. He was 59 and we weren’t lucky enough to make double figures for being married……it’ll be our 10th Wedding Anniversary on Friday! :broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart:

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Well done Ron for letting thectears flow. I hate that saying men dont cry. I think real men do and you feelings of love and loss are no different to aby woman. Xxx

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Unfortunately the day my wife died is also the birthday of our oldest granddaughter so it will always remain a bittersweet day for me. I take great comfort knowing that Irene’s greatest trait, that of kindness and generosity has been passed to her four grand-daughters. On saying that, the past 5 weeks have been bloody horrendous. Everything I do, say, see or hear reminds of her. I rarely watch TV or listen to music now, memories are still too painful and fresh in my mind and my heart feels like lead.

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Aww Ginger i am sorry I lost my husband in june fathers day 9 weeks today. Then I lost our little dog the week after. It was mine and Gras 16th wedding anniversary on the 2nd of August. It wasnt as bad as i was thinking it was going to be, of course there was tears and longing for him to be here. But I got through it so will you we have no choice. Hugs Jo xxx

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It will Sandstone its awful the pain is intense and so hard to bear. The memories come quick and fast, but no where near as fast as the tears flow. Hugs Jo xx

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36

Thanks Jo,
I know you are suffering as well,
Your support is very valuable to others.
Love Ron.

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Always Ron you need to chat please message me. We all need someone in our corner to help support each other. Hugs zjo xxx

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38

Hello Marie, my advice, given to me by many people is, don’t do anything irreversible for perhaps a year. Get all those “firsts” out of the way. You may change your mind about all sorts of things in that time. We are all in the same boat here and will offer advice and empathy if you ask us.

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Do nothing big just do small things when you feel ready. Spend as much time as you can with family.The lonilness is a killer, the longing for them back is unbearable. One tiny step at a time is all i can about manage. The tears fall at the most trival of things. Hugs Jo x x

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40

Thanks Nimrod and jevncute.
I dont have any family apart from a brother overseas.
I do have good friends but they all work so there are limits for them. Today has been particularly bad

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