Hello all, I’m here because I’m newly bereaved, my husband died just over a month ago, in an accident, he left for work one morning, he said “ill see you later” I watched him go up the road, on his Motorcycle. 10 minutes later he had the accident and was pronounced dead at the scene 40 minutes after that. Now I know that it’s early days, im slowly realising what’s happened, before I was in shock, but the shock is now turning into grief, my stomach churns, I feel sick, I can’t think, I’m tearful but haven’t sobbed and really really cried, I’ll be honest a few times, I’ve actually thought about going to sleep and not waking up again. How on earth do you exist like this? It’s alien and terrifying.
Melanie73 it all part of the grieving process but you already know that. Cry whenever wherever you feel the need to . There’s no time limit on how long we should grieve for I’m 19 months on this horrendous journey we have been placed on, and it doesn’t get easier I think we just learn to accept our situation.
This is an excellent place to vent and get advice from like minded people .
In the early days I HATED the loneliness and still do . Keep talking it’s so important and there’s no better place than on here . Take care Karen 
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Oh Melanie I really feel for you. You must realise you are still in a state of shock, especially the way your husband died. I lost my husband suddenly and at first it doesn’t seem real does it ? Auto pilot takes over and you just seem to float through the days. It’s been a year for me and there’s not a day I don’t rethink that awful day last Easter. I’ll doesn’t get any easier but you learn to live with your grief and it becomes part of your life. I’ll never be the person I was before which is a shame because I quite liked that person. Instead I’ll just plod on and live what life I have left the best way I can.
Much love
Georgina
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Sorry for your loss, my husband died suddenly in Feb this year so its been 12 weeks and I’ve only just really cried and sobbed it all came pouring out on what would have been his birthday. I floated along and people were amazed at how well I was coping but it was shock, I wanted to cry but couldn’t. Along with the shock there were many visitors supporting me and a lot of practical jobs to do.
I feel much worse now than at the beginning, you are normal it’s all part of grieving, but I think I have also become a different person and the anxiety just waking up to another day with Graham makes me feel ill along with the sadness. I’ve found doing these things have helped me a little, making a note on phone about what I’m going to do tomorrow
Sending Graham a text and reading it out loud about my day and feelings
Thinking of the happy memories, they make me smile.
The hard part is the complete absence feeling so alone and reading posts on this site has helped. I hope you find it helps too, you aren’t alone